Living the consequences of my words spoken years ago

Guys I don’t know what to say anymore. I am tongue-tied and I have no way of changing my unwanted reality. I have been too frustrated at the fact that everyone around me seems to have gotten married in the last year and is settled down in their home with their hubby. I on the other hand, have only been stuck in an unhealthy relationship with someone who will never put that ring on my finger even if the skies were to fall otherwise. You can imagine my frustration after four years on and off with this person who only had one thing in his mind and which was to have as much fun as possible when he can before I meet someone who would marry me. It may sound like no big deal to you who is reading this right now, but trust me when I tell you that when you have invested in someone with all your heart and soul and cannot seem to get over them no matter what you do or where you go, and this person no matter what will always make it clear to you that you are nothing more than a girl toy, it hurts like hell. The regret you would feel is insurmountable. You would wish you could have the power to erase from destiny the day you two had set eyes on one another. But we both know you can’t.

Better late than never is what they say. I made a decision to cut off any involvement with any man who is not a marriage prospect in reality. Sometimes I disconnect from reality and this is what happens whenever I live in the clouds for too long: reality basically trashes me and all my dreams get delayed or quashed. I am making a choice to stay firmly rooted to the ground that is my reality in all its ugliness. No more escaping into fantasy land. As far as love and commitment is concerned, I have made a choice to never entertain anyone who does not check the reality box; if he is not single and available to commit to me he is a huge no way not even a hi!

At this point in my life I am tired of attending other people’s weddings especially if they are younger than I am. I seem to be getting these invitations and the whole world is seemingly getting married and settling down. I hate it so much and this reminds me of the local saying that, Msiba wakujitakia hauambiwi pole meaning that if someone causes themselves trouble or suffering, they are not entitled to a sorry. Many years ago I wanted just this: to prioritize studies over anything and everything else including marriage. When it came to discussions about getting married back then, I would strongly disagree with anyone who was pro marriage and argue that no woman in their wise mind should leave studies to get married or mix the both of them at the same time. I used to affirm and believe that men would only give me a bad life if I were to be dependent on them. So independence was everything. I needed to study and get a job to be financially secure before I thought of marriage. Well, I got what I wanted even though it is no longer what I need. I realized even with a job and money, if you were alone and isolated you couldn’t be happy. Work and no home meant that I would work too much until I burnt out and live an unbalanced life which would make me sick eventually. I now understand that a happy life is a balanced one.

What hard truths of life does everyone need to realize?

  1. The best place or thing has equally the worst thing about them just like your best attribute can also be your worst.
  2. If you encounter hate and enmity it is a sign you are better off than your enemies and they cannot handle it.
  3. Life will give you the same circumstances you hate unless you learn from them.
  4. The law of attraction works. It is responsible for every miserable thing you have encountered in the past. In order to change that you have to change your vibration to match what you want to experience and see.
  5. In my experience, the most accomplished people are the humblest whereas those who have made little achievements in life are the bossiest.
  6. We are all connected as one. Separation is an illusion. Therefore, be mindful of the state of those most near you as well as those far away if you can. Support as much as possible because the universe in you would not be fine if it ignored the universe in others.
  7. Life is predetermined. This is clearly repeated and emphasized in the book “The Alchemist.” If you really believe everything in your life is there for a reason, you would not worry or resist.
  8. Be like water and flow. Go around your obstacles and not against.
  9. Trust in the reason as to why you exist. You take one day at a time and slow down your clock.
  10. Get clear on what you want to experience in this lifetime. A home, what kind? where? Is it all glass does it have a pool is there a garden? A spouse? Is he or she tall do they love the same things? Get specific. Don’t let the universe guess what you want. It does not have the time because we are so many in the world. Get specific get faster results.

What Goes Around Comes Back Around

The law of Karma is the strictest law and probably the most automatic of all the laws of the universe. Unlike the law of attraction, which requires us to put on effort to stay in alignment with what we wish to attract into our lives, the law of Karma operates on autopilot. Everything we do, comes back around, sometimes to kiss us on our chins for a life well-lived, and sometimes, those breathtakingly painful times, it comes to bite us.

Of all the laws of the universe known to mankind, I am scared of this one. It has no friend, and no foe. It greets everyone of us and punishes each one of us atleast once in our lifetime( at least once, means that person who is closest to angels as possible, for the rest of us, well we can say atleast 1000 times).

I recall one time, I recognized this law. You see once upon a time, I hurt someone who really loved me. Of course, not intentionally, circumstances of my life at the time, and my lack of experience in life, were the ultimate culprits, but still, it was not as if this law would acquiesce to excuses however justifiable, it bit me. I found myself head over heels in love with someone who burned me like kababu(kebab). I cried in pain and only then I realized this pain was familiar, I caused it to someone who was in my shoes 1 year ago today. That is the thing about Karma, it does not waste time. It would pay you back the same day if only it could, and perhaps, it does. I started praying for forgiveness and I asked for forgiveness from my victim friend.

Long story short, it is because of this law I have become weary of how I treat people I meet in my life experience. It is also because of Karma, that I remind myself to not get overly worked up about the plans and plots of my enemies, because I know, sooner or later, as long as my heart remains pure regarding the people in my life, anyone who tilts the scales in my disfavor will be taken care of by Karma. It will not be by my doing, it is simply the universe’s way of balancing the scales. That is how I interpret the Justice Tarot Card to mean, when it appears, it means Karma is being served. Good or bad, it all depends on how fair and balanced your actions have been.

Is Karma coming to kiss or bite you? Let us take this Karma quiz to find out.

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