My Maker

There is some part of us that always wants to worry. It is a nasty default setting that centuries of survival have put in us. Somehow we decided that things cannot happen just naturally without our control or actions, but that is hardly the truth. The truth is that if we are honest about our life and how far we have come, most of the things which happened in our favor had nothing to do with our input or direction. Mostly because we didn’t even anticipate or foresee them, they just happened.

Why is it then so hard for us to trust in this same flow of our life, this invisible force which ensures all we need is effortlessly made available to us through unexpected means?

Take for example children, we all were helpless once and we could have died of starvation or exposure but somehow we didn’t. It wasn’t because we got jobs when we were two years old and paid rent and strived to afford milk and baby food to survive, but regardless, we survived. So, my question is who was it that provided for us then, and how is it possible that they would stop caring for us now? You can’t tell me it was parents by virtue that they were parents, because I have heard of several parents who would up and leave their children to starve or throw them in a trash bin, or torture and kill them. So, no it had to be someone else. This person put love in our parents, and if they didn’t love us enough to care, he inspired someone else to be there for us. This person couldn’t leave us then, therefore, he can’t leave us now or never will. Can we learn to trust in this invisible force which loves us and takes care of our needs? Can we surrender to this force and let go of control? Can we release our worries and fears about tomorrow, what we will eat or drink?

Safe In Our Territories

Our God is a god of exclusivity. He made us to live on land and breath from the air with our noses, then made the fish live in water and breath through gills and also made birds whom he gave exclusive permit to use the sky(Well planes do trespass once in a while if not all the time).

The reason why we are not all traversing the same territory is arguably because, had we been all jammed into one space, we couldn’t have realized our full potential and would have ended up with no hierarchy or system of co-existence. Ecosystems are important to sustain life. And also, if one area of these territories goes bust(Ah, the pandemic, I don’t suppose fish have covid) at least the others are safe, for a while.

Life is exclusively designed. If you think this earth is complex, you haven’t yet seen how vast the universe/s could be if you looked beyond the atmosphere into space. There are millions of planets, possibly we will never know most of them in our life. There are multiverses which science hasn’t yet discovered. In fact, I don’t think we were meant to discover anything beyond our atmosphere in any personal way as we have done in the past. For example, the moon is there to help sailors lost at sea find their way back home or witches do their moon baths. It wasn’t meant for us to land on and plant our flag as if imprinting on it, saying “This is mine. I made it.”

Therefore, it is without a doubt that humans have been the most and perhaps, the only notorious species to push these territorial boundaries and go where they don’t belong. The space clearly is not our turf given that we can’t even breath there. If that is not a sign for us to stay away and mind our own business, what else would be? Just imagine a fish envisioning flying like the eagle, or an alligator suddenly seated in a classroom taking lessons on mathematics. All other species have respect for territory, unlike us. We have even found a way to breath under water for several minutes without any tools. With oxygen tanks, we could as well live there among the sharks and the whales- the latter whom we have been killing and driving to the edge of extinction.

So what has an eagle got to do to keep the planes off? What has the whale got to do to keep us off? and most importantly, what has God got to do to reinforce that, “Keep out” “No Entry” sign on the entrance of space? He could try to put up curtains made of some impenetrable material unknown to humans. Though I am sure we would find a way one way or another to penetrate, curtains or no curtains-like always.

Que Sera Sera

Today, right here, I will take an oath that I swear not to get worried about when and how something I want will happen. I swear that as long as I shall live, I shall focus on the present moment only and stop worrying about my future. I wish to just live in the here and now without a care in the world!

The happiest people on earth must be those who live each day at a time. Imagine how freeing it would be if we all just didn’t give a dime about tomorrow. Had we all been content with our todays and paused to enjoy them mindfully, I believe anxiety and depression would not exist.

However, so many of us have forgotten how to live in the present moment and instead ruin it by spending today worrying about tomorrow. On the other hand, if we spent so much time and energy worried, you would think that would change what was already meant to happen in our future but that is rarely the case. Seeing the state of unpredictable wars, pandemics and god knows what else happening all around the world, I am convinced that no amount of worrying or foresight would have prepared us for what was already destined to happen. The future is out of our hands and there is nothing we could do to change that fact! It would serve us well to know that as much as we plan and go about our lives as if everything is going to happen according to our wishes and desires so long as we put in the necessary effort and work hard because nothing is free, most of what is waiting for us is mostly unexpected and a surprise-good or bad will depend on how hard you prayed and whether or not God likes you(I am just joking with this one).

Prayer

They say if you pray hard enough, even if it takes ten years, you will get what you prayed for. However, nobody said how we were going to survive those years we spend waiting. In the same way, nobody said how we were supposed to bear seeing everyone around us receive quite so easily what would be the things we need most in life more than anyone else. It is frustrating to pray and not see anything change. It is even more depressing to wait on the Lord when you know he is an abundant God who, if he wills can make anything happen before we even have time to blink. In order to feel better we tell ourselves how God is protecting us from what we want that is why we don’t get it, but if he is the Omniscient and Omnipotent Almighty God, I am sure he could just as easily replace what was bad with better and give us that in the same amount of time it would take him to bring the sunrise tomorrow morning! So, the question is, why is God so slow in answering the prayers of his humans who need him the most? I don’t know but what I know is this: That no amount of relentless praying would ever change what God has decided. If it is just not the time for me and you to get married to our dream spouses and live in our dream homes, it is just not yet our time. Simple!

Way forward

Now that we have established the fact that it does not matter the amount of prayers you send up to the sky, what matters is whether your time to receive and enjoy what you desire has come or not, there is no reason to remain frustrated or worried because we don’t yet have what we want(or in extreme situations, what we absolutely must get to survive in which case we are screwed). Worrying will not speed up our timeline nor is it of any help to feel jealous over other people’s blessings which they seem to get without wanting or needing them. And Bam! Perhaps I have answered my own question. The very fact that we obsess over the stuff we want could be working against us by making those things take even longer to come. Maybe if we just let them go and said, “fluff off I don’t need you,” they will magically start chasing after us(I mean, it works with men).

Detachment from attachment

“Pray about it and let it go.” I must have heard this statement a thousand times. In retrospect, I must also have written a post before about why we shouldn’t pray for what we want. I thought I was wrong because praying is good and it never hurt anyone to ask God for a favor or two. Can it be perhaps, God does not want to be pestered about what we want all the time and instead he would much rather if we simply had faith that he already knew our desires and has been preparing them for us or rather, us for them.

It is crazy that God should take too long to create anything anyone wants no matter how big and impossible it seems, when he created the whole world and everything we know from nothing in just 6 days! I mean what I want is dust compared to the whole universe/s.

Therefore, I can’t help but feel, like it is all about when the time is right in God’s eyes and not our own. When he deems it is the right time for us to get married, so what if we are sixty? As long as in his eyes that is the right time, then so be it! Remember guys, we didn’t even get consulted about coming here to join this freak show we call life in the first place, so why would anyone ask us how we wish to live it? It seems a bit presumptuous of everyone to think they could live life on their terms when they couldn’t stop growing old and dying even if they worked hard all their life to avoid it. This life is like that gift you can’t return, because it would be impolite to do so and you can’t fully call your own either, because the person who gifted it to you wants you to use it based on their own terms and conditions. My advice: let us just enjoy whatever we get offered in life and call it a day, shall we? One day we will all die and what is eating our heads right now won’t even matter when we kick that dreaded bucket. Why bother? Let’s just live, que sera sera!

The Whole World is Asking me to WAIT

Page is unresponsive…Wait! VPN is acting up breaking off my WIFI…wait! I am starving and the delivery is taking three hours…wait! My computer won’t start…wait! I am still single as hell…wait! I want to scream at the world to be faster…wait! My veins are boiling with indignation as I envision breaking and smashing stuff into the wall…wait! Wait! Wait!

Interestingly, I have zero patience. A sweet, smiling and beautiful face quickly turns into the HULK when I am forced to wait longer than is necessary for anything. God must be tired of my prayers for a husband because that line is disconnected nowadays. I seem to have so many things on my wish list put on hold, pending the thousands of lessons I have to learn to remain calm and composed as I wait in line for my time to come. Will it ever, though? I don’t see any sign!

Someone, somewhere is force-teaching me to wait. It sucks a lot to be told, “No, it is not your turn yet!”, As you watch everyone else being handed the life of their dreams. I pray and pray forever and ever. Nothing budges. I cry myself into despair and watch an episode of Schitt’s Creek and instantly feel better because at least I don’t live out of a motel and struggling to eat. Life sure treats everyone who signed up for it with some nasty surprises. It is as if life said, “If you don’t like it, you can leave!”. Well, some have tried, but God imagine taking a quick exit only to find yourself back here again, probably to retake the same exam you bailed from! That would be too cruel even for you, life!

We can deny it all we want, we can resist and fight and scream and get depressed but the fact remains: we signed up for a life which would only allow us to live on its own terms and so we must! I don’t know how many more lessons are stacked up on my path, but this I know: I am still going to freak out if that queue does not budge. I am still going to want to smash things into the wall, or at least smile at the thrill of the idea of it every time my computer refuses to start or that delivery takes hours. I don’t promise to be patient because I didn’t ask for the world to be too damn slow-moving. It is just not my problem!

The Tale of the Territorial Cat

These adorable, fluffy little creatures called cats inspire me. They have a special place in my heart mostly for being so criminally cute with their touch-my-heart colorful eyes and that rosy button of a nose they all carry on their faces. Perhaps, most significantly, is the fact that cats, unlike dogs, have a personality too big for their loaf of a body to contain.

Here is why I believe cats must have been gods who desired to experience life here on earth. Firstly, they have a magnetic charm that seems to attract even their worst anti-fans. They mind their business most of the time, meaning they will less likely get in your way unless they are mad at you for forgetting to give them treats. They will spend most of their day, with you as their butler, attending to their every need. All cat mums know their babies’ most favorite cat treat and food brand on the market. My cat Nam Nam for example, loves chicken-flavored dry food and for treats, juicy shrimp is his dream. He also enjoys a bowl of silver fish soaked in a little bit of water for that semi-crunchy and saucy bite.

Cats are like royals, they have excellent table manners, wipe after they eat and groom themselves at least ten times a day to stay well kept and orderly- just like royals. Although, I haven’t been able to understand their passionate dislike for water and I advise you to find someone else to help you with your laundry because your cat will not! A beautiful munchkin is probably what I will come back as when I reincarnate in my next lifetime. I would make sure to find a human who loves me to death so I can live my life like a queen that I know I will be.

Another interesting fact about cats is that they are the best slappers in the history of civilization. They will slap common sense into anyone who threatens to violate their personal space when they don’t feel like being pet. They will slap you if you kiss them before you brush your teeth(ew!) because being one of the animals with the most heightened sense of smell, you can imagine how disgusted they would be to smell your morning breath. That is why if anyone ever wants that smooch or kiss from a cat, they need to groom themselves or at least take lessons from their cat on how to do that!

Finally, these adorable little creatures should replace the statute of liberty or some other iconic landmark anywhere in the world because they have the potential to stop wars and depression with their magnetic charm and cuteness! Happy cat day!

Love is not enough

All we need is love, they say. Well, I disagree. While love feels like the warm rays of the sunrise on your face after a freezing, damp and dark night, the sun does not last for in the evening, it bids goodbye and leaves us once again, clad in the shadow of the night.

For this reason, I didn’t think twice about telling him how this is not going to work. It was high time I accepted the fact that he was just not going to give me the life I need. As expected, he was realistic again, as he said he couldn’t see a future with us. He was always the realist, this man. I was the one living in the clouds and building castles without a foundation. I was always dreaming of a future where there was none to be had. However, today was the first time I felt calm about letting him go. It was always nerve wrecking before, whenever reality hit hard and I was forced to step away. There was once a time I would dread not hearing from him for even a day. That time is over. Thankfully I can breath and sleep without a problem. I am sure he hates how I have changed but he should know that by now, I love myself enough to walk away, not bitter and broken, but happy and at peace!

To this man I once loved more than myself I say sorry. I am sorry for leaving you after I learned to live myself first and foremost. I am sorry that I am running so fast and it looks like I am leaving you behind- to the same place you were when I met you five years ago. That has always been my style, I am stuck so hard you would think i would never escape, but once I manage to free myself I never look back.

Therefore, after many runs of trial and error, I find myself free at last. I am free from the past me who would settle for crumbs of love when I deserved the whole box of cookies. I am free from my old version of me who would attract the same type of relationships which hurt me the same way my father has. That part of me who would get into relationships with men who reminded me of my father, so I would get triggered over and over again every time I couldn’t text someone or call them, or be acknowledged in public with them, is now dead. I buried her. End of the story!

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

Everything you write down in your journal comes true. In the book, “The Power of your Subconscious Mind,” Joseph Murphy explains that the subconscious mind listens to everything you have to tell it. It brings forth into your reality what you constantly think about. Even better, what you affirm in the way of writing it down on a piece of paper, or better yet, your Lifebook, has no choice but to come true because those letters act as a command to your subconscious to bring what is in them into your reality.

Talking of a Lifebook, let us see what it is. According to Jon and Missy Butcher, a Lifebook is a book that contains all your dreams and goals of what you wish your life was like. This book is divided into a dozen areas of your life which are considered very important: your work life, family, love life, health, among others. In this book, You never leave out any details but describe everything to the tiniest detail. What are your goals? Where is your ideal home located? What does it look like? What are your children and husband like? Do you guys have a pizza night? If so, which toppings are your favorite and theirs? You don’t need to have been married to know this. You simply create your ideal marriage and family life the way you like it, with imagination. However, this does not stop at just visualizations, but goes further to require you list the decisions which will take you there. For example, if your dream husband is tall, handsome, kind and loving, who has time for you and has the same interests as you, you would be required henceforth, to go out with guys who are these things and nobody else. For example, what should you do to attract such a guy? If the law of attraction says that like attracts like, don’t you need to be what your are desiring first and foremost? Where would you meet a guy like that? Anywhere except in your cocoon. Therefore, this means you need to go out there and meet people and you need to be discerning as to the kind of men you entertain because you know exactly what you are looking for.

Now that we have an idea of what a Lifebook is, let us look at the effect it has on your life. Most people have testified that their life is unfolding exactly as they envisioned in their Lifebook. This could be the reason why most people are successful with reaching their dream life, because they have conditioned the subconscious to bring them what they desire by focusing on it and imprinting it in their mind through writing. The mind only sees what you tell it such that if you say you are a cat, you might as well start to behave like one. Murphy emphasizes that the law of the mind is belief and if used correctly, it can change your life, heal your sickness and give you everything you wish for!

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