How Do You Know It Is the Universe Talking To You?

I was happy. For the first time in my life I was not alone. I realized the universe speaks to you, only if you dare to go a little crazy, or a lot crazy, depends on how far you are willing to go. I was already called crazy several times, weird or different from everybody else, so it did not take me so much effort to go a little further down that daring road, of forsaking everything I had been taught about the world and trying to see it in an, “are-you-delusional?” kind of way.

I have tremendous respect to all the gurus and authors of books about law of attraction and beating the unbeatable odds, which life has taught us to accept as a normal part of life, however, most people consider all this life-altering and transforming knowledge, as rantings of lunatics, or a certain class of people who wish to be handed everything they desire, simply by repeating a bunch of affirmations and mantras. It is also these same people who are complaining that life is unfair and we must have been all fools for agreeing to come down to Earth just to suffer and die.

That is why, if you find out you belong to that “class of lunatics”, you have a hard time integrating into the beliefs and ways of thinking others are somehow still trying to impose on you,no matter how changed you have become. So how do you know which path to take? Once you have realized you are no longer alone and anything you want is possible to achieve, which way should you invest your time and energy in? Where can you get guidance to know which decision has the best potential for success and which one is still stuck in the old way of thinking which you must avoid? What tell-tale signs does the universe give you to assure you of being on the right path? How do you know you are where you are supposed to be in your life?

During such times of confusion, I rely on angel numbers which appear at certain times. I also do tarot, but because of my limited skills I don’t understand what most of the cards, when combined together, mean. I also find myself meditating and asking my higher self for guidance and wisdom. Now after doing all of that, in the meantime, I find myself receiving advice from people. Someone can come and say, “There is this opportunity I think you should apply.” Or someone would tell me, “Why don’t you consider going back to school and finishing law?” Then there is the fact that the universe puts you where you need to be right now. I look at the right now of my life, and I find many reasons to want to consider other options. Which is which? Universe can you please tell me with certainty and beyond any reasonable doubt, whether I should stay where I am in my life at the moment or go and embark on a whole new beginning? Can you please tell me if I should finish law, which until now is not something I would jump with joy about, or should I just pursue my dream even when I have no idea how to get there and whether or not that is where my success lies? Please speak to me.Thank you.

What Goes Around Comes Back Around

The law of Karma is the strictest law and probably the most automatic of all the laws of the universe. Unlike the law of attraction, which requires us to put on effort to stay in alignment with what we wish to attract into our lives, the law of Karma operates on autopilot. Everything we do, comes back around, sometimes to kiss us on our chins for a life well-lived, and sometimes, those breathtakingly painful times, it comes to bite us.

Of all the laws of the universe known to mankind, I am scared of this one. It has no friend, and no foe. It greets everyone of us and punishes each one of us atleast once in our lifetime( at least once, means that person who is closest to angels as possible, for the rest of us, well we can say atleast 1000 times).

I recall one time, I recognized this law. You see once upon a time, I hurt someone who really loved me. Of course, not intentionally, circumstances of my life at the time, and my lack of experience in life, were the ultimate culprits, but still, it was not as if this law would acquiesce to excuses however justifiable, it bit me. I found myself head over heels in love with someone who burned me like kababu(kebab). I cried in pain and only then I realized this pain was familiar, I caused it to someone who was in my shoes 1 year ago today. That is the thing about Karma, it does not waste time. It would pay you back the same day if only it could, and perhaps, it does. I started praying for forgiveness and I asked for forgiveness from my victim friend.

Long story short, it is because of this law I have become weary of how I treat people I meet in my life experience. It is also because of Karma, that I remind myself to not get overly worked up about the plans and plots of my enemies, because I know, sooner or later, as long as my heart remains pure regarding the people in my life, anyone who tilts the scales in my disfavor will be taken care of by Karma. It will not be by my doing, it is simply the universe’s way of balancing the scales. That is how I interpret the Justice Tarot Card to mean, when it appears, it means Karma is being served. Good or bad, it all depends on how fair and balanced your actions have been.

Is Karma coming to kiss or bite you? Let us take this Karma quiz to find out.

You Are Your Own Biggest Fan

I want to confess something. I have always wondered who my husband would be. I guessed and guessed my way throughout all the guys I have known, had a crush on, or simply met once or twice. Whenever I got too worked up on finding out who my spouse would be, I would write the names of all the guys I know, on tiny pieces of paper, fold them, and playfully ask anyone or anything that was listening, “Who will I marry, please, please tell me?” as I toss them into the air and close my eyes to pick one. Haha! Whether this works I am yet to find out.

There were other times I would consult with my tarot deck to find out things like, why I feel so insecure when it comes to relationships, why certain things keep on repeatedly happening to me, why I feel stuck in a certain way of thinking or doing things. When I am calm and focused, I find tarot to be so revealing, especially when I ask specific questions relating to myself. For example once I asked tarot where these feelings of insecurity and unworthiness come from? The five of pentacles showed up and next to it there was the 8 of cups which was then followed by the queen of wands. This is how I interpreted these cards to mean, I needed to walk away from feeling inadequate or lacking and embrace my personal power, because the queen of wands to me is all about self- empowerment, self-confidence and self-assertiveness, all qualities that the queen so proudly and fearlessly portrays. I took it to mean I needed to step away from feeling like a victim of circumstances of my life and instead wield my wand of personal power and let my fire burn bright as I assume the role of a powerful creator of my own reality.

How easy would life be if someone had a trusted source of guidance? How many pitfalls and mistakes would we avoid if we can connect to someone, or something, that has eternal wisdom and knowledge of all things, and is highly invested in making sure you have a great life experience? How magnificent would it be if we can know where to turn to whenever we feel overwhelmed, unsure of which decision to make, if we can trust this source of guidance with our life, because it has not failed us even once? And what would that source be? If not you? Who would invest in your best interests if not you? Who would want you to enjoy this life experience if not you? The answer has always been you. You are your own biggest supporter.

Before you look for guidance anywhere, look within yourself. You already know everything. You have already lived your life. You know who you will marry and you know who you will become. As Esther Hicks says,

Your higher self knows where you are in relation to what you want and it knows how to get you there using the path of least resistance.

Esther Hicks.

Imagine all your guidance methods and systems you have used before, to be your higher self. By your higher self I mean that unseen, pat of you that is wise and ever present, The part of you that whispers to you guiding you, giving you ideas, knowledge and inspiration. This is your true essence as a soul. This is your divine self.And the guidance you receive, is called divine guidance. Now we call this energy God, some call it spirit guides, others call it angels or guardian angels, but all these things emphasize the idea that something or someone separate has the power to change your life, whereas if you believe that your higher self knows where you are in relation to what you want and how to best get you there using the path of least resistance, then you will take responsibility for your life, and take back control which you gave to something else, someone else that is not you. If you believe that God exists within you, that the source energy that created the world is within you, so is the abundance and creative power that made everyone and everything, then your worries would end. You would be calm and reassured of the fact that you can get what you desire if you focus on what you want to attract into your life. And in the event that you find yourself stuck in unpleasant circumstances, you can be sure that you have the power to change them. Am I making sense?

The Five Of Pentacles Within Us

Today I asked my tarot, “Will I ever be able to love and trust someone?” And pluup! Falls the infamous card of all time, the five of pentacles! Here is my take on this card and what it tells me about myself and my struggle:

  1. Self-love

It is okay to love myself. It is not selfish to think about myself. It is not selfish to want the best piece of cake for myself. It is not selfish to take care of myself. It is not selfish to stop giving all I am and all I have to others, forgetting myself. It is okay to stop and rest and take care of myself. It is okay to avoid toxic people even if they are family and friends, for my peace of mind.

  1. You cannot give what you don’t have;If I think my parents did not love me, that is because they were not given love then, how could they love me when they were not loved themselves. You must know what being loved feels like to be able to love someone else. Negative energy such as lack of love has a trickling down effect; it spreads downward to the next person and the next and so on until the chain is broken. The chain is broken with healing the wound in your heart.
  2. If you did not receive love as a child, you will have a problem receiving and recognizing love as an adult. Love is hard to see. Trusting is out of the question.You live life expecting the shoe to drop at any given moment. You drop the shoe first before anyone else to protect yourself.
  3. Pain is familiar: you will find yourself in situations that cause you the same pain over and over again. A kind of hell tailored specific to your worst fears coming true. Your relationships will have a similar pattern of the kind of love you received in childhood. You will attract, like a magnet, all situations that replay the same old wounds. You will feel like dying. You will cry your eyeballs out and fall into depression. You will ask yourself why you meet wrong men. Why you cannot find a man who is willing to commit and love you without conditions. You will be searching for that one man who can make you feel loved and declare to the world your value and your worth, so that you feel worthy.

If your wound was, being neglected by your parents, not receiving enough attention, you will find yourself in situations where you compromise a lot and think it is okay if your partner does not call or check up on you as often as is required. You will think that it is normal because that has been your normal, but it isn’t.

Take for instance, being a secret child myself, I have been in situations where I was the secret mistress. For quite a long time that was okay. I tried but normal open relationships with a normal single boy turn me off. I would feel attracted to unavailable men who had to  keep our relationship a secret and still maintain their lives.

This is what five of pentacles in the tarot deck tells you about yourself.

The question then is, when does it end? It ends with healing the wound. It starts with identifying why you are selfless, over-giving,resentful of pampered children, hard to recognize if someone loves you, hard to trust anyone, are stuck in one-sided relationships where you care more and give most, are a secret mistress,are turned off by normal loving relationships( which I mean you can’t accept the boy who confesses his love to you but are willing to chase after someone who loves you less), if you have these things in you, you are more than likely to be described by the five of pentacles; which means, at one point in your life, you suffered some form of pain and loss which affected important areas of your life even after the passage of time. The energy still surrounds you and influences your decisions, how you see others, what you think you deserve and how much you are willing to sacrifice for everyone else except for yourself.

The second step in the healing process is to forgive and apologize. How? You say sorry to yourself. Yes, you heard me right. I am doing it to show you right now, “Zeinab, I am sorry for all the times you gave your all only to accept crumbs. I am sorry that you feel you are selfish if after giving away all your pizza to people, you keep the last slice for yourself. I am sorry that you feel you have to give so much to others in order to gain their approval. I am sorry that you accepted any less than a loyal committed love partner. I am sorry that you are kept secret by your father. I am sorry that you don’t feel you need to stand up for yourself sometimes. I am sorry that you won’t rest until you have pleased everyone, even at the expense of your well being. I am sorry that you were not loved like you should have been by those who gave you life. I am sorry for reliving this hell over and over again so many times. I am sorry that you are having to add, healing your wounds, to the list of many important things you have to do throughout your life. I am sorry you struggled way more than you should have. I am sorry for having to stay strong even when you didn’t need to. I am sorry you are awake at 4 in the morning writing all this, trying to figure out how to heal yourself, when you could have been sleeping. I am sorry for everything.”

The next next step is to forgive your parents and to pray for your children. If you did not get parental love, most likely, your parents did not as well as their parents and their parents and it goes on and on until Adam.

To be fair, is to forgive what was beyond anyone’s control. Your parents did not heal, probably they are still suffering now in their 60s. How do you forgive them? By understanding and being grateful that at least you got to the first steps of healing and they did not. By thanking heavens that you, if you got to this far in the healing process,at least have a better chance of living the rest of your life properly, harmoniously, that your children will be raised better, by parents who took the time to heal and therefore, you will not project your wounds on them and cause them to be awake, at 4 in the morning, at 26 years of age, trying to understand why they are so unhappy.

Forgive your exes, they showed you what was wrong with how they treated you. They helped you through inflicting pain, to realize the cause of that pain and that it wasn’t right that you kept putting up with the same pain over and over again. They say we gain consciousness through suffering(Westworld’s Doctor Robert Ford’s words, very befitting considering personal hell and loops). Maybe there is some truth to this statement. Maybe, through your bad relationships, you were able to identify the self-destructing pattern or loop you have been stuck in. Through the depression and the anxiety, you learned. It is okay to forgive them now for the pain and cruelty they have inflicted on you.

The last but most crucial step in the healing process is rebirth and change. You must accept nothing less for yourself anymore. All those men who you were stuck with in your own little personal hell you must say goodbye to. The guys who wanted to give you the world but you booted them,you will start appreciating them more now. You will realize that you no longer tolerate bad and selfish behavior. You will realize your worth and start demanding to be treated right by your family,friends and lovers or they risk being left outside your world. You will set time aside for yourself to spoil and pamper yourself. You will have your own dreams and visions about your ideal life and you will start believing, for the first time, that you deserve the very best in this life. And the very best is rightfully yours!







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