Right or Wrong?

Dearest reader, as I was making breakfast earlier, I had an epiphany of sorts. And you know me, I had to turn that stove off and write. What else is new? So here goes…

There is no right or wrong way of doing life; There just is. I know as I say these words, I need to say them with much caution for fear of coming off righteous or pretentious. Just please keep in mind that as much as I teach you some of the things I suddenly seem to discover about life and the meaning of life, I am also teaching myself. What I tell you, I am consciously telling myself too.

So what does it mean when I say there is no right or wrong way to do life? Does it mean we are all right by the choices we make and how we live? Does it mean I am right, you are right and so is that criminal who just received a life sentence? Absolutely, yes! That is what I mean. We ARE ALL RIGHT; IN OUR OWN UNIQUE WAY. Yes! Even that criminal is right on the course of where their soul wants to learn in this life in order to evolve. I don’t suppose to know what the criminal’s purpose is but I bet their soul or higher self knows best. And I will go even further to say that therefore, nobody can be wrong for the level of soul development is different for each one of us. What may seem evil for me might be just another afternoon for a soul that is developing on a DIFFERENT plane than mine. I emphasize this word: different because we seem to seriously overlook this very important fact by creating standards and assuming everyone else who is not following them is wrong. There is no such thing as right or wrong. And because even as I say these words I am having a difficult time accepting them, the only one person who can see life and us in this way has to be God and Him alone!

Now I know I am walking on a suspended bridge here when I say nobody is wrong in God’s eyes, just so in our human eyes- which is you stretch this further you would come to the obvious conclusion that there cannot be hell or heaven for as long as there is a God who can see us and accept us all as right, regardless of our human and societal concepts of right and wrong. Now these words are powerful I know. They are like the tower in tarot which crumbles and is set ablaze. That is how much threat these words may have on religion and basically every law that is man-made. through the same lens I want you to imagine that your true north will always point to what brings you true happiness because that is what your soul needs in this life time. Perhaps your true north urges you to find meaning in God and the supernatural and you find yourself an atheist or a realist, you will only be happy if you change course- and you will because your soul will prompt, push and nudge you towards finding God and until you do you would have not otherwise lived your purpose in this life time.( Does it then mean that you will have to come back again! Or maybe, we just can’t escape our true north and will always choose it whether we want to or not?)

Even as I say these thought-provoking words, I realize I have a true north in Sagittarius and a destiny number 7 which can explain why I seek for meaning beyond the material and physical aspects of life. It can also explain why I seem to suddenly know these things which I teach you. Does this make any sense? I sure hope so!

So, in conclusion, while we may feel inclined to think and believe our personal journeys are superior to others’, I advise myself and all of you to eat some humble pie. Because the truth is, there is no superior or inferior, there just is what we need to be, at this point in time(of course and in our soul development process).

The Unconscious

My dearest readers, I am here again, well thanks to some Eureka moment which I found myself in from watching, “Devil in Ohio”. And no! This isn’t about the Devil. It is about me and my struggle to understand the effects my childhood trauma has had upon my life. While deliciously mysterious with a strong start to it, the limited series is more about our childhood traumas and how we cope as adults than anything else- atleast to me.

Somewhere in the series, Dr. Suzanne is taking the step we all must take at some point of our life, especially if we had had a less than favorable childhood- seeing a therapist. She finds herself seated before a brain-picking genius of a therapist who spoke to me just as much as she spoke to our Dr. In that scene, she tells her that the reason she wants to save everyone even when it is not convenient for herself or her family, is because she wasn’t saved as a child from an abusive stepfather and a complacent mother. She has three amazing daughters, the last of whom she adopted, if you didn’t count the newest member of her family, an abused run-away girl from a satanic occult group. Apparently, according to the therapist, our Dr. would have saved every lost and unloved child in the universe, if she could. In that moment, when the therapist looked into her eyes and said these simple albeit powerful words, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Dearest reader, I don’t know why exactly these words struck me so deeply. Could it be because, I, like Dr. Suzanne, feel compelled to save others who appear to be in need of saving? Could it perhaps have anything to do with why I am drawn to help little abandoned kittens who have nobody to help them? Is this also why I am scared of being abandoned myself by family and friends? Also, why I am afraid of venturing out into the scary world outside my comfort zone and safe space?

For this reason, and many others, I find myself afraid of anything new. I want to stay with what’s familiar as long as I can, maybe, forever. I don’t want to break free if it means having to leave my safe space and face the uncertainty of the world outside. Outside is not safe. That is what my mind tells me. Nothing is guaranteed I might regret my decision to leave home if things don’t work out wherever it is I would be. I feel like Rapunzel, except if she were offered a chance to flee, I would instead choose to stay in the familiar, safe prison.

A Chasing After the Wind

Dearest readers, what do you think is the purpose of life?

The question has been on my mind forever. I remember all the moments spent raking my brains for an answer to this deceptively simple but oh, colossal question. Do you ever lie down and look up at the serene night sky and wonder why we are alive? I have, more times than I can care to count. And every time, I feel like I couldn’t be further away from the truth.

In my foolish quest I searched for meaning behind existence. I looked to religions, tossing and turning between Allah and Jesus. I looked around for poems, or books, anything which would give me an answer but, nothing!

Sometimes, I walk on the beach early in the morning to try and feel something. Maybe, God will show himself in the sound of waves, or in the whispers of the sea breeze or perhaps, in the patterns of the sea shell which I found lying on the coast line. Nothing.

After sometime, I started to wonder whether the Teacher in Ecclesiastes was right after all, when he said, “Everything is Meaningless”. For even my quest to find life’s meaning, is meaningless-a chasing after the wind!

Pure Joy

Dearest readers I am back again, with an inspiring quote from the Bible. I am sorry I call them quotes but I don’t know how else to refer to them being that I barely know anything about the book. Anyway, the quote I am talking about is found in James 2-10:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

James 2-7

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance

James 2-3

This statement is so powerful. In fact, right now, I needed so much to hear this. Life gets hard, we get flustered and confused. Not only that, but also we become forgetful of all those motivational books we have read and all the odds we have faced before and successfully conquered. Satan, or whoever it is, plants seeds of doubt in our minds and instead of gravitating toward God we pull back and away from Him during our darkest hour. So when in James the Bible read, “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds,” my heart clicks and the ever-fleeting hope comes back to my heart. It is not all doom and gloom. Somebody went through the same hardships and felt just as hopeless many, many years ago. This means that there is a purpose for our suffering and that is wisdom and maturity.

Another powerful addition to the statement reads: “Let Perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” This means that we DON’T NEED TO DO ANYTHING during our darkest hour. We just need to trust in the process and let go of trying to control our circumstances or escape from our hardships. Those trials we go through serve a higher purpose we may not know about. Our job is to stick it out to the end without giving up or losing faith.

And finally, after all our troubles, we are told, God gives generously without finding fault which to me means that If we truly believe and trust in God in our tough times, if we fight the temptation to lose faith in Him, he will reward us and compensate us. On condition that we BELIEVE we already have what we asked for. This is the climax in that movie when Cinderella gets everything she dreamed of and way more than she could imagine was possible. It sounds easy but it is the hardest part. It is not easy to believe when you are not seeing any improvement. It is even more difficult to wait and hope when the circumstances only continue to get worse and worse. But if we can believe without doubt that God is still with us and for us in the darkest valleys on which we walk, we shall have no fear because our prosperity is guaranteed!

PARADISE

I can feel the wind on my sleep-deprived face almost kissing the dark circles under my eyes away. The hypnotic whispering talking trees behind me bob, dance and sway in the unrelenting and purposeful July wind.

As I lay my beat bottom surrendering to the damp and cool sand on this lazy morning beach, I feel ever so alive as nature does what it does best- giving me a restful and loving embrace, totally erasing all my troubles from my life.

Tommy- my soulmate.

In front of me, tiny crabs are doing what looks like sand-gliding across the sand. Some are curiously peeping out of their holes, some busy digging out the sand from their tiny cylindrical tunnels they lovingly cherish as their home. For the most part, they seem unfazed by my intrusive, yet peaceful presence as if I was a blob of sand, one with the beach. It is as if they have known me forever. One particular crab, Tommy, seems to have taken a keen interest in this stranger and won’t stop staring. That, or he is frozen motionless because of the intense chemistry we share.

My ears are drawn to the persistent sound of waves in the background. Oh yes, how could you miss such a lovely serenade just for me? They are particularly melodious today as they pour out their heart to me. Just then, a boat with curious onlookers passes before me. I could tell from their stunned expressions they were wearing that they must have wondered what a woman clad in veil is doing sitting on a beach in the early hours of the morning. To them I was a puzzle they couldn’t figure out. Especially when they see me focusing my gaze past them into the horizon, as if I was seeing something they weren’t. As if in a daze, stopping only to scribble something on a tiny piece of paper with my pen. To them, this was just one of the days of the week. To me, this very moment, sitting amongst the sea breeze, the waves and the trees is magical.

A boatful of fans

Once the boat went out of sight, I catch a glimpse of the sun as it takes its time to wake up for the day. Thick creamy blobs of clouds are covering it but even they couldn’t stop some of its radiant rays from escaping through the cracks. And how wonderful those rays were! They shined through the clouds determined to kiss the sea below them. A satisfied sigh came from my lips as I took in this precious moment, “This right here, is paradise!”.

Unnatural

Sometimes I like to do nothing. I know it feels unnatural because we must always be on the move, doing something, anything. Even that guy who posts about Steven, a seagull who got a devoted butler in him at least He IS making a difference in Steven’s life through the simple act of feeding him. So we are wired to do something at any one time. Not doing anything feels unnatural. And that is exactly what I am going to do, nothing!

This idea of doing nothing is powerful! Just imagine if all of us did nothing and just watched life unfold. No worries, no desires, just simple acceptance of this universal and perpetual condition called life. I am sure whoever is running the universe will notice if everyone just did nothing. I bet the whole world would just stop, “Walking dead style” maybe, I don’t know. But that is exactly what this world needs right now: To stop and rebirth itself even if it means we go back to the stone age. I know you may not agree with me but please hear me out.

I don’t totally oppose evolution I love it, I mean it enabled me to sit here and write so you could read my ideas and I would feel like I am contributing to the world, in my own little way and then I won’t have to hate my life so much. Anyway, as I was saying, growth, progress, evolution and revolutions, all these things are not necessarily awful, on the contrary, they have benefitted us and made us civilized beings until up to a point, when it turned us into zombies. Yes! Zombies who are neither dead nor alive.

I feel like a zombie most of the time. This whole world and everyone in it look like zombies to me, stuck in a forever loop of doing this and that and barely truly living. We move around, in the pretext of working hard to live a good life, but when you look at it, we end up exhausted and unhappy. We chase goals and lose out on precious time. We strive today for a better tomorrow which never seems to come. Ever elusive tomorrow is, he doesn’t want to be caught. So, we end up striving for something unattainable, leaving us too frustrated and tired to enjoy the ecstatic joy of doing none of that.

Today I found myself waking up with the most important thought in my mind being making breakfast for myself and my family. I found myself putting a lot of meaning into doing things around the house. And that is how I think most people live. They attach joys to doing and accomplishing tasks in and out of the house. Before they know it, years have passed by and they are still living their life around doing things. I wonder what would happen if we didn’t do anything at all. What would a day be like if we just sat down on a beach and taken in the view of the blanket of sea as far as the horizon? What would happen if we just took off our shoes and felt the wet velvety sand with our toes. What would happen if we were just blissfully mindful of the space we occupy and the air we breath? If we didn’t have to do anything or go anywhere? If we didn’t have to pick a phone call or make one? If we didn’t have people waiting on us? If we didn’t have a 9-5 job which we hate but we can’t avoid? What would happen if we just lived?

I didn’t Pay for My Sleep This Week

It is 4 in the morning and I tried very hard to get an hour of sleep. In fact, this whole week I have struggled with getting any sleep but instead found myself watching Netflix or stuck in the dimension of You Tube Shorts for hours on end. Oh yes! This feels familiar: it is time for another one of my depressive episodes. How long is this gonna last? God knows, or the devil, Idk!

Looks like I didn’t pay for my sleep this past two weeks. OMG, it has already been that long. The thing about depression is that you can easily lose track of time, or your life! How else would you not if you slept only when it was day time and stayed up like the vampire that you are all through the night? Unless the whole world starts shifting working hours to after dusk and schools open at night time, life will pass you by whilst in this state. I just hope God will fight for me and with me this time. I hope whatever this is, God will stand by me and see me through. I let God do what only he can do!

Energy Healing

What is it?

Energy healing comes from realizing that we are made of energy first and foremost before anything else. That there are waves of energy we can’t see all around us and through us and these waves have the power to make us feel better if channelled or moved with intent and purpose through our bodies.

How does it work?

Energy healing is done by way of touching with hands or hovering. The person who does this, also called a healer, moves their hands around, about and along the body of the patient with the intention to balance and remove any blocks in the energy field of the patient. They will focus more on the area of the body where the patient feels the most tension. If you look at the healer you would think they were performing random hand movements and caresses but those simple movements are potent with positive healing energy.

How much can energy healing cure?

Your simple headache, stomachache, chills and any types of pains or fevers. Depression and anxiety and any mood disorders. Some even claim terminal illnesses like cancer and lifelong conditions such as paralysis are cured by this type of healing. So why do you think it is less talked about on social media? I don’t know why. If such healing could help us shouldn’t the whole world invest in it and research more about it? Shouldn’t it be taught in all schools and colleges?

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