Dearest reader, I know I am probably confusing all of my readers when I talk about receiving the Holy Spirit and Jesus when I have been a practicing muslim all of my life. Let me explain:
Somehow, only after receiving Jesus did my life change overnight: I seem to have unlocked an uninterruputed access to God- Allah, whom I have been worshipping all of my life. My prayer life has changed and I no longer struggle to maintain my five daily prayers like before. Secondly, I have been seeing signs and synchronicity left , right and center. It is as if my life path has become evidently clear and my purpose has finally been unveiled after searching for it for so long; to teach and call people to God and to warn them of the coming apocalypse or end of days. Now, I have been seeking God and it feels like he has opened his door for me after so many years of waiting, temptations and distractions. Thirdly, I have been seeing prophetic dreams of the apocalypse and of Jesus urging me to teach others about him. Now, before you judge me, I am still a muslim, I pray and declare the shahada except that I have become even closer to Allah, through Jesus. Call me crazy, Jesus opened the door to get closer to Allah whom I see as the same as God, the father in heaven.
Honestly, I am still trying to figure all of this out and might be wrong to say that the God Allah of muslims is the same God, the father of Christians. I don’t know why but I strongly believe, that christians and muslims worship the same God of heaven and believe in the same word under different labels. Now please don’t hang me for saying this, but I have received many signs through dreams and both The Quran and The Bible that Muslims and Christians serve the same God just under different titles. When I read the Bible and Quran, I see the words and commandments of a similar God;His voice comes out as clearly in Quran as in the Bible. Now, mind you, I have only just begun reading some of the Bible and I am in no way declaring what is in this post to be evident truth. Until further research and reading of both these holy texts, I am not owning anything I say in this post to be the ultimate conclusion about these two major religions in the world!
Back to the topic, I have seen radical changes within myself and my family ever since I accepted Jesus into my heart: my broken home and family are restored. My previously staggering relationships with my family members are being actively healed as we speak. Personally, I have changed significantly; I feel like a new person, who is calmer and more peaceful and less sinful. I feel more connected to God than I have ever been before. I also feel a tremendous sense of guilt for my sins and humble for having done so many mistakes and still God called out to me in spite of all of the sins in my past. I am taking accountability for all the wrongs done in the past and all the mishaps which show up in my character and behavior once in a while. I am not hesitant to say, “I am wrong” or “I am responsible for this or that”. I never hesitate to apologize and I don’t feed into my ego self anymore. I am also connecting on a deeper level with my family with whom I have had feelings of resentment and bitterness for years! As if that is not enough, I also keep getting prophetic dreams about the apocalyspse or end of days in which I see myself teaching people about God urging them to return to him before it is too late. Just tonight, I dreamt about that and specifically I was appalled when I saw Jesus come out headless! I am still trying to understand why I saw him like this: perhaps, it could be that he is concerned about the church or his people who have slept on his message. Perhaps it was a symbol of the final days and of spiritual death- like zombies or mummies, we have slept on God and his word and our hearts don’t beat for God anymore but for the worldly things. Sometimes, I ask myself, “why am I seeing all these restless and repetitive warnings about the apocalypse in my dreams?” At one point I thought perhaps, the collective unconscious warnings I have been seeing on the internet lately, by Christians, about the last days and second coming of Jesus Christ have been seeping into my dreams through my subconscious mind, which in turn has picked them up and is creatively replaying them in my mind. But , sometimes I am convinced that that may not be the case because of how clear and persistent the message in my dreams is.
Lastly, Like I said, I have a lot of bible studying left to do and the fact that I am a practicing muslim does not in any way restrict me from studying the bible or any other religious text, as far as I know. I stand to be corrected. What I know is that my journey to find God and the meaning of this earthly life is just getting started and I am not planning on letting the fact that I already believe in one religion, Islam, stop me from discovering more about God and the meaning of life. And with that said, I am concluding this post with this relevant bible verse:
17 “ ‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.”