“Enter through the narrow gate…” is my bible verse of the day. I have been going through the most confusing and chaotic moment of my life. Since I received my bar exam results I have been lost. I performed well generally, except for one resit and I give all the credit to God. However, since then, I have not made up my mind about doing pupillage. It feels as if I need to wait for something else. As if the universe or God has a different plan for my life. I just wish I knew what it was!
I thought God wanted me to get married. However, that didn’t happen. For a moment there I thought God wanted to to focus on my mental health- that explains why I went to seek medical attention when I did(just around the same time I was supposed to do my pupillage). However, if you ask me right now what I think I should do my answer would be a simple, “I don’t know!”.
Recently I have been feeling so confused about my next step in life and so overwhelmed by my current state of affairs, that the only refuge I have is Jesus. I turn to the bible every time I need guidance. Especially, the book of Psalms. I feel like I need to start over, in a brand new life, with a whole new identity and mission. I feel like I need to change my path, my home, and my location. I want to listen to my heart and follow the signs I have been receiving. However, sometimes the signs get mixed up: I don’t know whether to stay or go because sometimes I see signs which urge me to both go and stay at the same time. So, which one do I follow? Which one is from Jesus and which one is from the evil one? Where is the narrow gate which very few find?