When God Denies you, he multiplies you

I don’t think there is anything more left to say about the meaning of my title. I also don’t think anyone in the world is feeling as grateful as I am right now for this one person in my life who loves and cares for me. She means the world to me. In fact, sometimes I think I don’t deserve her. Sometimes I am in tears as I look at how my life has changed for the better ever since she cane into it. Most times, I am thanking God profusely for making her and sending her to me. I am convinced that some people are angels sent to us to help us and care for us in unconditional, extraordinary ways only angels can. For this reason, I find myself melting under the rays of her overflowing heart. I know there is love, but then more importantly, there is love love, which surpasses everything else. And this, right here, is love love. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for existing. Thank you for loving me so much that I forget all the people who didn’t love me. Thank you for being my soulmate,Sis.

Persuasion, the movie-Are You Persuaded?

Just a few breaths into the movie and I could feel something’s off. Well I persuaded myself to venture in further all thanks to Dakota, my girl from FSG and just then, an interesting scene about octopuses comes up:

Photo credit; Indiewire.com

Dakota playing Jane blurts out of nowhere:

Sometimes I have this dream that a giant octopus is sucking my face and as I struggle to get free I realize that my hands are tentacles and I can’t push it off. And then I realize of course that I AM the octopus and I am sucking my own face.

Jane in Persuasion.

Now, I don’t know about you guys but this scene right here is everything. Only if the makers of this film could make the movie more about that scene than anything else, I personally think it would have made into the top ten list of my favorite comedies of the year! I could tell through replaying the scene over and over again that Dakota tried so hard not to crack up as she said these most humorous words I have ever heard in a serious, socially-awkward, otherwise-proper setting such as the one in this film. In fact these words were so impactful to me that my mind immediately scareamed in delight, “Oh, that is so stanzi of her to say!”. Now if you don’t know who that is, let me enlighten you, with a warning however, for you will never be the same after. stanzi is a youtuber who uses sarcasm and dark humor to basically put us all in our places. Aside from that, I swear I haven’t seen anyone on the internet today more obsessed about octopuses than her! In particular, octopus p**n. So this scene just makes the whole movie worth something for me.


I can feel the wind on my sleep-deprived face almost kissing the dark circles under my eyes away. The hypnotic whispering talking trees behind me bob, dance and sway in the unrelenting and purposeful July wind.

As I lay my beat bottom surrendering to the damp and cool sand on this lazy morning beach, I feel ever so alive as nature does what it does best- giving me a restful and loving embrace, totally erasing all my troubles from my life.

Tommy- my soulmate.

In front of me, tiny crabs are doing what looks like sand-gliding across the sand. Some are curiously peeping out of their holes, some busy digging out the sand from their tiny cylindrical tunnels they lovingly cherish as their home. For the most part, they seem unfazed by my intrusive, yet peaceful presence as if I was a blob of sand, one with the beach. It is as if they have known me forever. One particular crab, Tommy, seems to have taken a keen interest in this stranger and won’t stop staring. That, or he is frozen motionless because of the intense chemistry we share.

My ears are drawn to the persistent sound of waves in the background. Oh yes, how could you miss such a lovely serenade just for me? They are particularly melodious today as they pour out their heart to me. Just then, a boat with curious onlookers passes before me. I could tell from their stunned expressions they were wearing that they must have wondered what a woman clad in veil is doing sitting on a beach in the early hours of the morning. To them I was a puzzle they couldn’t figure out. Especially when they see me focusing my gaze past them into the horizon, as if I was seeing something they weren’t. As if in a daze, stopping only to scribble something on a tiny piece of paper with my pen. To them, this was just one of the days of the week. To me, this very moment, sitting amongst the sea breeze, the waves and the trees is magical.

A boatful of fans

Once the boat went out of sight, I catch a glimpse of the sun as it takes its time to wake up for the day. Thick creamy blobs of clouds are covering it but even they couldn’t stop some of its radiant rays from escaping through the cracks. And how wonderful those rays were! They shined through the clouds determined to kiss the sea below them. A satisfied sigh came from my lips as I took in this precious moment, “This right here, is paradise!”.


Sometimes I like to do nothing. I know it feels unnatural because we must always be on the move, doing something, anything. Even that guy who posts about Steven, a seagull who got a devoted butler in him at least He IS making a difference in Steven’s life through the simple act of feeding him. So we are wired to do something at any one time. Not doing anything feels unnatural. And that is exactly what I am going to do, nothing!

This idea of doing nothing is powerful! Just imagine if all of us did nothing and just watched life unfold. No worries, no desires, just simple acceptance of this universal and perpetual condition called life. I am sure whoever is running the universe will notice if everyone just did nothing. I bet the whole world would just stop, “Walking dead style” maybe, I don’t know. But that is exactly what this world needs right now: To stop and rebirth itself even if it means we go back to the stone age. I know you may not agree with me but please hear me out.

I don’t totally oppose evolution I love it, I mean it enabled me to sit here and write so you could read my ideas and I would feel like I am contributing to the world, in my own little way and then I won’t have to hate my life so much. Anyway, as I was saying, growth, progress, evolution and revolutions, all these things are not necessarily awful, on the contrary, they have benefitted us and made us civilized beings until up to a point, when it turned us into zombies. Yes! Zombies who are neither dead nor alive.

I feel like a zombie most of the time. This whole world and everyone in it look like zombies to me, stuck in a forever loop of doing this and that and barely truly living. We move around, in the pretext of working hard to live a good life, but when you look at it, we end up exhausted and unhappy. We chase goals and lose out on precious time. We strive today for a better tomorrow which never seems to come. Ever elusive tomorrow is, he doesn’t want to be caught. So, we end up striving for something unattainable, leaving us too frustrated and tired to enjoy the ecstatic joy of doing none of that.

Today I found myself waking up with the most important thought in my mind being making breakfast for myself and my family. I found myself putting a lot of meaning into doing things around the house. And that is how I think most people live. They attach joys to doing and accomplishing tasks in and out of the house. Before they know it, years have passed by and they are still living their life around doing things. I wonder what would happen if we didn’t do anything at all. What would a day be like if we just sat down on a beach and taken in the view of the blanket of sea as far as the horizon? What would happen if we just took off our shoes and felt the wet velvety sand with our toes. What would happen if we were just blissfully mindful of the space we occupy and the air we breath? If we didn’t have to do anything or go anywhere? If we didn’t have to pick a phone call or make one? If we didn’t have people waiting on us? If we didn’t have a 9-5 job which we hate but we can’t avoid? What would happen if we just lived?

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