I didn’t Pay for My Sleep This Week

It is 4 in the morning and I tried very hard to get an hour of sleep. In fact, this whole week I have struggled with getting any sleep but instead found myself watching Netflix or stuck in the dimension of You Tube Shorts for hours on end. Oh yes! This feels familiar: it is time for another one of my depressive episodes. How long is this gonna last? God knows, or the devil, Idk!

Looks like I didn’t pay for my sleep this past two weeks. OMG, it has already been that long. The thing about depression is that you can easily lose track of time, or your life! How else would you not if you slept only when it was day time and stayed up like the vampire that you are all through the night? Unless the whole world starts shifting working hours to after dusk and schools open at night time, life will pass you by whilst in this state. I just hope God will fight for me and with me this time. I hope whatever this is, God will stand by me and see me through. I let God do what only he can do!

Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey

Many times in my life I find myself thinking that we must be in hell. That this life is hell because it feels like torture most of the time. We somehow find ourselves get denied stuff we really need and desire and no matter how much we push on to survive, we are barely even doing that. Things get worse, wars break out, pandemics and natural disasters wipe us out, crazy inflation and the endless cases of depression make life unlivable. I know what that feels like: hell! Then how can this be any place other than hell itself, since it is in hell we are supposed to suffer?

On the other side, on those rare moments of my life, I notice a delicate, self-sustaining and loving system in nature. Rain comes down, the ground livens up and animals graze happily and endlessly on what seems like a forever stretch of green, lush grass. Day time is for action while night time is for recharging our batteries. If terrestrial nature is awesome wait until you watch the wonders in the sea and the deepest oceans of the world. Animals of all shapes and sizes, some even amazingly miraculous which could leave us baffled with awe. Walk by the sea shore during low tide, and pick up one shell and you will see God in the texture and patterns found on it. That is just a single shell. Imagine the force and genius behind every single thing ever seen or touched in the world and you will know that the original plan of whoever made these awesome things was pure love and bliss, so my question is what went wrong? Why does such a carefully and masterfully designed Earth feel like hell?

I will tell you. It is because of us! Yes, you heard me. We humans are the error in the system. We are the glitch, the virus that upsets the entire world. I know this sounds like I hate us but just imagine the Earth without us for just a second. Imagine the animal kingdom without us; it would thrive. The ecosystems and how much everything would have remained unadulterated, uncontaminated, unpolluted and harmonious without us in the picture is an unarguable fact. Without our dogmas, our greed, our water, soil and air pollution, our coal plants and inventions which demand the destruction of the planet in order to be sustained this whole world would have been in a better shape. Not to mention the social and religious systems we have created based on fear and survival. The animals we slaughter and force feed for milk, meat and coat. The utter disrespect we have for the sanctity of life is a slap of disappointment to whoever thought we would be a good addition to the creation of this world; G.o.d himself. No wonder he becomes more and more silent with each passing day, because I would be too had I been him. Imagine all the hard work and consideration which must have gone into the creation of the universe, and based on just a tiny sea shell, the mastery and intricate details that must have gone into that and then it all goes bust because of one species that thinks in order to survive, it has to destroy everything else. God must be too kind to let us live another day. He is too forgiving. If that were any of us, we would have taken care of the glitch in the system a long time ago. We would have uninstalled us from the system!

And it is not enough that we base our innovations on the destruction of the planet and its ecosystems, we also go as far as to enforce dogmas, come up with world orders and all types of manipulation to get power and control the world. We use currency to deprive others of sustenance freely given from the Earth as food by God. We draw lines in the ground to claim what we didn’t create, leaving most homeless and stateless. We deny others travel without a passport and visa as if we created the parts of the Earth from which we deny others free ingress. In order to grow in power we spread our influence across the world in the name of civilization and dictate that our way of living is the right way. We steal and take without asking in the guise of spreading the word of God and we move across the world to teach our language and we make the whole world believe in what we want. Anything else is unwelcome and barbaric. There won’t be any other way except our way!

Are you still not convinced that WE are the problem? So, no this Earthly life is not hell as I once thought, it is us humans who have turned a beautiful place into hell. It is us humans who are hell to this perfect Earth and everyone in it. I am sure as we speak, animals and oceans and everything else under the stars are petitioning or rather, have been petitioning to God to have us removed and annihilated. No wonder we have prophets talking about the judgment day and the last day and whatnot. We must go, period! How? God knows but we must go for the Earth to be safe! Sorry, I am not sorry!

Why Do We Date People?

We date people to find out who and what type of person we want and need in our life. There are so many characters in this world and if you are not careful, you may end up with the least compatible partner for life. In fact, I have noticed that men and women from my hometown date people and sometimes they may find that one person who is just so right in so many ways, but what happens next will shock you: They end up marrying a completely opposite person they just met and barely know.

Why do men and women from my hometown do this beats me. It beats the entire purpose of dating which is to find the one for you. That person is least likely to be a stranger you are meeting for the first time and seeing their photo for a first meeting, no. It is highly likely to be that person you have known for a while now and fought with and gotten back together for a couple hundred times. That is the person you can’t live without and you just made a huge mistake marrying anyone else but them.

It is for this reason I believe that dating is an important first step that will show you who is right. If in a couple months you find things you hate about the person, it is also dating that allows you the chance to avoid making a big mistake. Jump this step and you risk some horrid surprises after marriage. I personally date to find who I can stand and who I can’t. If someone is not a right fit I feel it right away because of my highly sensitive emotional radar I can tell on the face of it if we are going to get along or not. This helps me avoid so much, or it is going to help me do that since my past relationships have not been the best so far. But that was then and this is now. I am wiser today and more prepared to smell out anyone who is not the one.

And the question comes, “who is the one?” Well allow me to tell you.

My dream man is well-mannered, gentle, loves and appreciates the arts and creative pursuits of all types. He has a healthy relationship with money and focuses on his personal growth and is spiritually awakened. He is beautiful to look at and has a pair of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I could get lost in them, that is how stunningly captivating they are. He loves to have fun and is respectful and kind to me. He loves animals and keeps a pet or two in his home. He enjoys nature and the beach so much so that he must spend time there regularly. He enjoys learning new things and has his own passion which he doesn’t neglect. He makes money alright but that is not the biggest thing on his mind because he understands how money truly works and inculcates gratitude in his daily life. He loves food and appreciates eating and dining out. He enjoys my company and I his and is physically attractive. We become best buddies and live our happy little life unbothered by the outside world. We make love, not war and look out for one another and still make each other feel valued and free to pursue their interests and other things. Ah I almost forgot! He doesn’t demand if he wants something but politely helps me to want to do it for him. He is far from being entitled and is helpful and reliable, thoughtful and kind.

My dream man is worth the wait. He is worth it. I will be patient and wait for him and I want him to know that he is so loved and cared for. He is my best friend and I love him so very much. Come soon into my life I will be waiting with open arms and a grateful heart. Love you!

Our Ghosts

Fear is my enemy. I didn’t know the ghost that was haunting me had a name but there was always something inside me making me afraid of stepping outside or meeting people. Especially if those people have bullied me in the past or hurt me. In fact, I would be happiest alone, snug in my most comfortable clothes regardless if they made me look like I didn’t care about my appearance, or my hygiene very much. I would be safest here, in my room, glancing at the world through the windows or the occasional time I went outside, under the cover of the night, to buy necessities.

People are hard work. When you meet them you have to work a smile and look them in the eye otherwise you may come off as a coward, or worse, weird. You have to greet someone-who somehow knows your entire life history, including that time you were an adolescent and everyone thought you were possessed by a ghost because you were so strange- and be terrified to ask their name and pretend you know them anyway. And then there is the good old crowd of your relatives gathered in one place and you must show up and pretend you don’t mind the mean comments about your mum made in your presence or the judgy look downs from your aunts who think they are better than you could ever be your entire life. All this time, your mind is racing between Staying or leaving and never returning. Then you recall that time in your life almost two decades ago, when your young self always wished to row away in a dingy boat in the middle of the night to far, far away every time you passed by string of old boats docked by the seafront.

Sometimes I am convinced that people are not on my side and that could be because they rarely ever were, ever! Perhaps I had been too disappointed as a child and abandoned many times to trust any adult human being. Perhaps that is why I don’t speak human well. Perhaps, that is also why I speak child and animal better.

After realizing all of this about myself, I feel even more helpless as I see how common and normal all of these things I fear are. It is normal to be abandoned by those who are supposed to be there for you. It is a normal Tuesday to trust and be betrayed, or to love and be hated or just to be a target of every mean-spirited adult to ever exist! It is also normal to feel out of place, and that is why everyone would rather think they came from Sirius or Lemuria, or even the moon, anywhere but here because here is awful.

For these reasons, I am okay with having these ghosts because they are not just my ghosts but all of ours. These ghosts are a sign that something is wrong in the world we live in today. They are the effect of all the stuff that’s gone wrong and continues to do so in our systems and societies. Kindness and love diminish as selfishness and maliciousness increase and that is why we don’t feel safe outside. It has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with what’s going on in the world. Therefore, don’t fix me fix the world!

Moving Forward

Regret is a bad habit. I have been doing that a lot lately. Sometimes I look at my life choices and find myself wishing I had chosen something else. However, I realize now that whatever happened happened and it is time to move on from the “what should have beens” and “I wish I hads”.

Que Sera Sera does not only apply to the future as most people think, for me, it is a great reminder that had my past self also been singing this song back at that time, all these things I regret today would have taken place anyway and perhaps I would have accepted them better and just moved on.

In hindsight, I regretted many things. I wish I had not rejected him, I wish I had listened to my heart, I wish I made my passion my career of choice, I wish, I wish. The list is endless! Today, I am choosing to be kinder to myself and recognize that everything had to happen to teach me. I am wiser today because of those things I regret. In fact, regret is just a waste of emotional energy and a form of self-hate in some way. It achieves nothing except self-blame and leads to stagnation because we are too busy holding onto the past and replaying things which have long gone. In addition, it keeps us stuck and we cannot move on from the past or forward into the future. We are always looking back, glancing to see what life would have been had we made a different choice.

Therefore, I am choosing to move forward, confident that I am wiser today than I was yesterday. To do that, I am releasing all the “what if” scenarios in my mind and the people too. There is no going back, only forward. Onwards and upwards, never backwards!

How I use Water and Quran to Heal Myself

Dear reader, based on my previous post about energy healing I am writing this one to get into the details. There has never been a time when energy healing is more important than right now, since the world has been through so much in the last several years from the pandemic to wars. Now is the time when Earth itself is calling for healing and this call has been heard by myself as well as millions of other sensitive empaths across the world who are being awakened to the cause as we speak.

Healing can be done in many ways but the basic point is that it involves movement of energy and channeling it to the target using intention. However, what I will share with you today is the fact that water and the Universal Muslim Text called the Quran, are what I have used before to heal myself from both physical and spiritual ailments.

The process is simple. I simply read chapters of the Quran over a glass of water or a tub(if bathing is required) and pray in Allah’s name as well as the name of the prophet Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him for the desired result. For example, I woke up to a huge fever yesterday in the middle of the night with no way to reach the hospital. I felt powerless and afraid but then remembered I could bring down the fever with the help of the Quran and water which I did and it worked. I didn’t just feel better I felt instant relief and I was healed you wouldn’t believe I was the same person who thought they were going to die within minutes because of the high fever and heart palpitations I had. After my experience yesterday and several times before then, I had to share this powerful miraculous healing and tell you how I did it. You could apply it to anything, as the prophet says, “Actions are dependent only on intention.” So intention is big in the muslim world, and as it turns out in energy healing as well.

There was a specific verse from the Quran which I used to channel healing waves of energy from the top of my head as I laid down on my bed to the tip of my toes. This verse is extraordinary and it is found in Surah Nur Ayat 35:

اللَّهُ نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ مَثَلُ نُورِهِ كَمِشْكَاةٍ فِيهَا مِصْبَاحٌ الْمِصْبَاحُ فِي زُجَاجَةٍ الزُّجَاجَةُ كَأَنَّهَا كَوْكَبٌ دُرِّيٌّ يُوقَدُ مِن شَجَرَةٍ مُّبَارَكَةٍ زَيْتُونِةٍ لَّا شَرْقِيَّةٍ وَلَا غَرْبِيَّةٍ يَكَادُ زَيْتُهَا يُضِيءُ وَلَوْ لَمْ تَمْسَسْهُ نَارٌ نُّورٌ عَلَى نُورٍ يَهْدِي اللَّهُ لِنُورِهِ مَن يَشَاء وَيَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْأَمْثَالَ لِلنَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ

Surah Nur verse 35, Holy Quran.

The above verse is translated to mean: “God is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The parable of His light is, as it were, that of a niche containing a lamp; the lamp is [enclosed] in glass, the glass [shining] like a radiant star: [a lamp] lit from a blessed tree – an olive-tree that is neither of the east nor of the west the oil whereof [is so bright that it] would well-nigh give light [of itself] even though fire had not touched it: light upon light! God guides unto His light him that wills [to be guided]; and [to this end] God propounds parables unto men, since God [alone] has full knowledge of all things.”

Now all I did was use both of my hands and run them down from my crown to my hips as I read this on repeat intently visualizing a white healing light that is Allah healing me and embracing my entire body. I thought about how this light created the universe and how it is responsible for making plants grow from the ground from which are fruits and vegetables which sustain us. How rain comes down to rejuvenate a once-dried derelict land. How everything in the universe is provided for and organized. It was a powerful moment which felt so intimate. It was as if I felt who God truly was and he was this loving, light and healing energy that nurtures and sustains. I imagined every cell in my body receiving this divine light of God, Allah as I started getting better and better. This was followed by reading more Quran over a glass of water and the invocation of Allah’s 99 names for a brief moment after which I went on to drink some of the water and wipe the rest over all parts of my body. Believe it or not, I felt so much better and the fever went down. Now, I share this as part of my experience but also to help anyone out there who may be in need of alternative healing that is efficient, free and which you can do by yourself, with the help of Allah.

In summary, there is a way you and I can heal without the arduous journey to the doctor’s. This form of healing is versatile and can be used to calm the nerves in those who are struggling with anxiety, or even cure depression if practiced consistently. It is not limited to physical illnesses only, but with intention can be used to heal emotional and spiritual ones as well. So far, I have felt so much better and have been living a more fulfilled lifestyle since I integrated regular Quran healing sessions in my life. I am less stressed and less depressed. I am enjoying a more peaceful life and I can handle my nerves much better than before. And yes, perhaps you could use the Bible if you were Christian to do the same I used Quran because I am more familiar with it. Could you use this type of healing to heal conflict in relationships or even the planet Earth from all the chaos, I believe yes you could. I will try it out and then let you know.

My Journey Towards Compassion: For others and myself

Dear reader, I dare say that the main reason we are here, in a world which resembles hell more than anything else because of the appalling suffering that goes on, is so we can be more compassionate. Like Jesus said, “To love and nothing else”. He knew what he was talking about. We just didn’t listen, as Hans Wilhem so masterfully puts it.

Interestingly, we are in a world system which focuses on capitalism as the drive behind all our actions and goals: Me first, you later. Every man for himself, and God for us all is such a paradox because we forget to realize that God is all of us. If we want God to be for us we need to be of service to others. Hans explained that service is the epitome of love. That we cannot learn to love if we focus on our individual needs and wants and prioritizing them each time without regard for the wellbeing of others. In fact, I would go as far as to claim that nobody could be happy if they chose to ignore the suffering of his brother or sister, which we all are to one another. God didn’t intend for us to separate from the whole. He made us so we would live for one another. If we cannot learn this fundamental truth, we might find ourselves suffering until the end of times, God forbid, until we learn to give to others our love and attention without expecting anything in return.

You know how sometimes we get bitter because things are not happening for us? You know how for example, you would look at your blog and notice not a single person reacted to what you had to say? When this happens, which is more often than I can count, the first thing that comes to my mind is a question: When was the last time I read and reacted to what someone else had to say? I have followed some blogs here on WordPress and those people have just as much important things to talk about as I think I have and they deserve likes too. I immediately go on the Reader and read some of the posts there. I would like and react just the same way I would wish someone to do the same for me. In other words, if you are the first to give, you shouldn’t worry about not receiving. It is guaranteed that you will receive what you give.

And this takes me to my final point, which is perhaps the main reason I got up this morning to write. You and I will always get what we give. I don’t mean to be harsh but even God cannot intervene where this principle applies. If you caused someone pain, you would wish to be forgiven and perhaps you would be but you won’t die before you experience the same pain you caused. You could pray a hundred times and be a saint but you must face the same energy you put out. I am saying this because it happened to me and for me many times than I can recall. Every time someone hurt me I would notice them get hurt the same way. Sometimes it would be soon, others would take longer. In the same manner, I get paid back every time I hurt someone by experiencing the same pain, except that it would be even more painful to me because I would have forgotten why this is happening to me. I would feel like the justified victim until the moment I realized I brought this upon myself and no, God is not going to do anything to make it go away. I just need to do nothing and just let the Karma play itself out. It is the harshest truth but truth nevertheless! Which brings me to the conclusion of this point: It is Karma that reminds us to stay compassionate and considerate of other people’s wellbeing. It is not going to be always about me, in fact, my whole life could be about service to others first and foremost, which is why we cannot pass up on caring for others just as much as we would care for ourselves, if not more.

Energy Healing

What is it?

Energy healing comes from realizing that we are made of energy first and foremost before anything else. That there are waves of energy we can’t see all around us and through us and these waves have the power to make us feel better if channelled or moved with intent and purpose through our bodies.

How does it work?

Energy healing is done by way of touching with hands or hovering. The person who does this, also called a healer, moves their hands around, about and along the body of the patient with the intention to balance and remove any blocks in the energy field of the patient. They will focus more on the area of the body where the patient feels the most tension. If you look at the healer you would think they were performing random hand movements and caresses but those simple movements are potent with positive healing energy.

How much can energy healing cure?

Your simple headache, stomachache, chills and any types of pains or fevers. Depression and anxiety and any mood disorders. Some even claim terminal illnesses like cancer and lifelong conditions such as paralysis are cured by this type of healing. So why do you think it is less talked about on social media? I don’t know why. If such healing could help us shouldn’t the whole world invest in it and research more about it? Shouldn’t it be taught in all schools and colleges?

Bubbles of Choices

Dear reader, has it ever occured to you how this life works? I have a theory.

While laying in my bed last night as I was drifting into sleep I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that our entire lives are about choices. The choice between A and B, C or D and whether you choose A or B you immediately activate a what I would like to call, “Choice Bubble” which is basically this timeline of pre-determined events in alignment with that specific choice and which we have to see through to their natural conclusion.

In other words, this means that for example, if I chose marriage of convenience over one for love, I would find myself walking into a reality designed to offer me everything else except what I gave up. Meaning I could get what I wanted easily or not depends on the intention I had put and the willingness of the other party to participate in helping me get what I want and the rest of the journey will be determined by a series of reactions by catalysts one after another of previous and subsequent actions done to actualize that main goal.

To help you understand this more clearly apply it to two of the most recent choices you had to make. It could be simple choices like choosing to go to KFC for dinner instead of Pizza Hut or Subway. You can say the people you will meet and the type of food you will have and how much you will enjoy each one depends on a lot of things, but mostly the first step begins with making that choice. Let us say, I go to KFC I know what I am signing up for which is crispy chicken. There are also other alternatives like burgers, sliders and nuggets but there is no way I would find a pizza there being one of the main foods they serve. Also, if I was really craving bread and pickles I would choose Subway and not KFC. It is just the same with those bug life decisions which we make everyday. What we choose opens up a bubble in which lies the reality of what is naturally the result of that choice.

Perhaps the most important question is what happens when you make a choice that gets you in an unpleasant bubble which you want out of but don’t know how to get out? And can you go back and undo the choice you made if you don’t like the reality your choice activated in your life? From my personal experience, I don’t think that that is possible. Why? Because remember, life is energy and it keeps moving. Nothing ever stays stagnant to wait for us to decide or to come back to it later after time has passed. Even the other choices shift along with the one you made. For example, yo almost got married but you broke the engagement to travel the world. You chose freedom over love and the world or the program in which all of life is set upon shifts along with your choice. In that case, it is as if life is a live map whose direction shifts every millisecond of our lives as we choose one path over another our path unfolds in real time. So if you chose to travel, the destinations will align, where you will go whom you will meet. The ultimate goal being freedom. On the other hand, the choice you passed over will not remain the same, because the program or algorithm will have planned a series of events Which would have opened up for that person had you not chosen to marry him. For example, he would meet someone else and marry them, start a family or move to another part of the world, become gay or whatever. But it will not stop just because you chose a different path. Now the rule here is simple: once you have chosen a bubble, you must see it through to its natural conclusion. In other words, once you go one way, there is no going back and that is because the map has changed completely and new paths have been paved. Even if for example, you were to desire returning to something you left before, it wouldn’t be anything like you left it.

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