When we are in harmony with all that is, then our self-centeredness vanishes and with it, every trace of self-doubt. Now we trust the universe completely. When we imagine that our armors of ego defenses is who we are, all we are, we are caught in a case of mistaken identity.David Richo in You are Not What You Think.
The most outstanding thing about this book is the fact that it does not advocate for the elimination of ego in our life like most books about selflessness do, but instead, it says there are times when we can use the good parts of our ego when required and others we can leave it out.
If you were familiar with spiritual books you would notice how ego has a bad rep in that world. If you wish to ascend to your higher self, the authors of these books would tell you the only way was to let go of your ego identity which they would claim to be the source of all our spiritual and emotional blockages. However, in this book, the author, David Richo makes it clear from the start that ego is not totally bad or unnecessary but that it has its own benefits which could help us in unique times such as when you are in dire need of some will power and self-pride the type that is required to survive storms which are calling for a serious dose of self-esteem and selfishness such as entanglements with narcissistic people who prey on our selflessness and low levels of self-esteem.
As I read this book, I am intuitively receiving answers about my current dilemma of self-sacrifice soul contracts which I wrote about in my preceding post. The issue I have is I constantly find myself overly-compassionate to others who seem wounded, neglected or unloved. I want to be there for them, love them and give them affection and care even at the cost of my own wellbeing, and that has been most of the times if not all. However, what I didn’t tell you was that almost all of these seemingly painful relationships had their blessings. For example, caring for my grandma has been a blessing in disguise, I have not only learned to be compassionate and selfless despite seeing my mother walk away and choosing herself each time over her family, I have also attracted loving and giving relationships with others who support me as I support my grandma. I seem to get whatever I need as long as I step outside my ego needs and wants to accommodate and love others without wanting anything in return. In addition, these intuitive messages today, are telling me that I have come to this world, in this life time to learn to give and to care for others, a necessary lesson which I might have skipped on before. Ironically, when you are supposed to learn to be more loving, you get egotistic parents, neglectful and shitty childhood which paradoxically is supposed to teach you how valuable and life-changing compassion and care is. Just imagine had I just one person in my childhood who could care for me wholeheartedly and give me love, it would have been life-changing for me young self. Probably, I wouldn’t be here writing about soul contracts of compassion. Yes, that is how I will call them now: soul contracts of compassion and not self-sacrifice. The only thing you are sacrificing in my place would be your egoism and egotism, the former being a healthier version of ego as compared to the latter according to the author.
For this very reason, I have come to find enlightenment from this book, which I believe will help you too with self-awareness. With this book, I have come to know that the relationships which have caused me the most harm in the past are those with egoistic and egotistic men who only look out for themselves and who couldn’t think beyond their selfish interests. Now I understand why they never said sorry or wanted to commit because an egotistic person never submits, never admits and definitely, never commits as the author so well put it. I have never felt so self-aware like I am now as I read this book and it has only been an hour. Just imagine what I could learn by the end of this book!
Finally, this book couldn’t have come at a better time! I have been faced with a choice between compassion( formerly feared as self-sacrifice by my unenlightened former self), and selfishness. I was more than willing to choose myself, had it not been for this book I would have passed up this lesson of compassion present in this major choice of my life and ultimately, delayed my learning process in this life time. I am now thinking of surrendering to the teacher whoever they may be, to teach me what I need to learn in order to move on from this school. Haha! This reminds me of a time when I told God that I was a quick learner and that he didn’t need to send me the same lessons over and over again for the same purpose. I don’t know about you, but I am not willing to postpone or retake any lesson in this life time. If I can jump classes I would just so I could move on sooner to a better world, a higher level of being.