Changing the Narrative

Life is great. Everything is working out perfectly. I am positively surprised with how things are turning out for the good of everyone. My family is a joy to be around. Wait! Wasn’t I so worried about coming back here just last week? I remember crying about it to God and wishing I was far, far away from home as possible. So, what changed? My narrative!

I told my mind I was going to get along with my family, at least for the most part. I said I was going to try and speak how I feel instead of shouting how I feel. There is a huge difference between the two, for the obvious reason that the former gets people to listen to you and respond better whereas, the latter just gives you a sore throat, makes a bad day terrible and induces an unwanted headache. Not to mention the severe depressive episodes which follow after every fight or break down. Emotions are meant to be controlled. My ultimate goal right now is to stay on top of them as much as I can. If I could turn myself into the calmest, most collected monk in the world I would.

Perhaps, many wise people have spoken about the power of changing the story we tell about our life to ourselves and others, but mostly our own minds. The mind is like a child, it will believe what you tell it. Is today a bad day? Okay. He hates you? Alright! Your family is intolerable! Absolutely. There is a reason why we are unhappy and 99% of the time it has everything to do with the stories we hold onto and refuse to let go of. If at some point we had a rough time and we suffered, the mind gets used to this suffering and I would say it does more than that by actually marrying it and integrating it into its system of thoughts and emotions. We forget to move on and divorce these memories of pain and dysfunction and subconsciously keep dragging the same baggage with us wherever we go like the bowels in our gut. On the outside we look groomed and neat, but in our bellies, poop is getting made by the hour which we carry around inside of us everywhere we go.

It is for this reason that we must update the system of our thoughts and check which stories our minds are currently playing about our life, our love or lack of it, our spouses, our homes, our work and even that last time you tasted mango and decided it gives you gas. Can you check to see whether mangoes actually give gas or whether you just ate too much diary that day and being lactose intolerant, you assumed the mango was the culprit when it was you all along. It is interesting when you start being aware of the thoughts running through your mind. If you listen to them with detachment, you will notice a pattern, a narrative. It is this very narrative you must question whether it serves you or not. And if not, changing it is the only solution to your life problems. Turn over that fresh page and start writing your new story!

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