I am transforming big time: not that I was cognizant of the fact before. It took a series of many events and happenings and my reactions towards them which made me realize I am handling things better and better everyday.
Life is a school so they say. I couldn’t agree more. So far I will contend that I was tested from the moment of my birth. We all still are. Never has a day passed without some event meant to teach us something. Some of them are horrible trust me. For example, today as I walked from the exam room all positive and believing for success, praising God on my way back to my dorm room I had no idea the lesson waiting for me. I stepped into my room and instantly noticed a few things missing which made me think I was insane for a moment. Perhaps the bar exams have finally taken their toll on me. How could two plates which bid me goodbye on my way out in the morning suddenly vanish into thin air? We use electronic key cards to access our rooms, had someone with a master card perhaps been to my room while I was away?
My heart starts skyrocketing in an unpleasant beat which made my head want to be anywhere else but here with me. I hadn’t eaten since yesterday and all the fat in my body was burnt in the exam room as my brain raked for answers among the cobwebs there. The back of my neck feels as if it took a punch from the Hulk from all the straining I did during the exam. Had you seen me, you would think my head was trying to take over from my fingers my pen and write the answers. I always knew my head was heavier and bigger than others’. Today my neck needs another neck to support it.
Who could have been to my room? I spend the next one hour tormented about it. My intuition kept saying just let it go but my brain had already started that engine, it wasn’t gonna stop now. Down into the rabbit hole of anxiety I spiralled, my mind thinking of all the possible suspects. I think I have been watching too many true crime documentaries on Netflix I am going insane!
The first suspect was the school cafeteria. These people had been treasure hunting for their plates you would think they were made of Gold. They are mere plastic plates costing about a dollar each. Is that how much my privacy is worth? Preposterous!
A minute later I hear a knock on the door. There stands the person the universe sent to teach me something vital. Something which made me wish I hadn’t opened that door. She starts by commenting how my room was disorganized and dirty. My heart immediately traded places with a volcano about to explode. Here was a woman, the assailant, the suspect, the accused, the privacy breacher of the season, the reason why people hire security guards for their homes, the reason why people put passwords on their doors, who had just come freshly from the scene of the crime, with hands still bloodied and the murder weapon used to assassinate my pride and dignity still in her hands. She is calling me a trash bin. My room is messy. Who gave her the right to barge in uninvited. No thank you to the unsolicited advice. My room my business.
Somehow between us, the heat emanating from my blood was warming us both in the chill weather. I told myself let me die if I will but I am not keeping shut. I looked at her right in the eyes and burned my intent deep into her soul. If eyes could kill she would be dead. I declared myself and made her know her behavior and attitude are unacceptable. What she did today was against all the laws I had learned and there was no contract that would justify invasion of privacy. I am a lawyer for God’s sake and this happens to me in a law school? How? Just how?
Need I say more? On the bright side of things, that 555 I kept seeing around on my way was surely a warning of some shocking experience which this was. Yes I was shocked beyond belief that the law we learn remains on the books and never in the system. I sincerely believe even if Jesus was coming he would tell me. Apparently they went around breaking and entering into all the rooms on the pretext of recovering plastic plates. Precious plastic plates!
The lesson is clear today. She and her energy wasn’t worth my time. In fact now that I think about it I could have just excused myself and closed the door on her face. Or simply just said yes ma’am sorry ma’am to everything she said like the goddess she felt she was and save myself a ruined aftenoon. Maybe I should just stop reacting and be the bigger person. One thing is clear though, up until the incident, I could swear I was transformed into an angel of positivity. On my walk back, it seemed nothing could faze me. The universe probably said, “Can I test the theory?” And like always, the phoenix returns to a tiny chicken in a storm.