Page is unresponsive…Wait! VPN is acting up breaking off my WIFI…wait! I am starving and the delivery is taking three hours…wait! My computer won’t start…wait! I am still single as hell…wait! I want to scream at the world to be faster…wait! My veins are boiling with indignation as I envision breaking and smashing stuff into the wall…wait! Wait! Wait!
Interestingly, I have zero patience. A sweet, smiling and beautiful face quickly turns into the HULK when I am forced to wait longer than is necessary for anything. God must be tired of my prayers for a husband because that line is disconnected nowadays. I seem to have so many things on my wish list put on hold, pending the thousands of lessons I have to learn to remain calm and composed as I wait in line for my time to come. Will it ever, though? I don’t see any sign!
Someone, somewhere is force-teaching me to wait. It sucks a lot to be told, “No, it is not your turn yet!”, As you watch everyone else being handed the life of their dreams. I pray and pray forever and ever. Nothing budges. I cry myself into despair and watch an episode of Schitt’s Creek and instantly feel better because at least I don’t live out of a motel and struggling to eat. Life sure treats everyone who signed up for it with some nasty surprises. It is as if life said, “If you don’t like it, you can leave!”. Well, some have tried, but God imagine taking a quick exit only to find yourself back here again, probably to retake the same exam you bailed from! That would be too cruel even for you, life!
We can deny it all we want, we can resist and fight and scream and get depressed but the fact remains: we signed up for a life which would only allow us to live on its own terms and so we must! I don’t know how many more lessons are stacked up on my path, but this I know: I am still going to freak out if that queue does not budge. I am still going to want to smash things into the wall, or at least smile at the thrill of the idea of it every time my computer refuses to start or that delivery takes hours. I don’t promise to be patient because I didn’t ask for the world to be too damn slow-moving. It is just not my problem!