This is the Wild. Do you think you could survive here?

Somewhere in the plains of Savannah Grasslands, I find myself lost with only my backpack containing one bar of chocolate, a bottle of water, a packet of peanuts and a pack of biscuits, and as I went about my merry way, trying to find a way back to civilization, I had the honor of meeting these extraordinarily handsome fellows…

Mr. Elephant, too busy munching all the grass he can eat until I interrupted him.

“Excuse me good sir. Can you please point me to the nearest exit?” I greeted. “He didn’t seem to be too willing until I mentioned I had some tasty peanuts with me. “Gimme peanuts first,” he answered, “then I will show you.” Well I shouldn’t have, because his answer was, while eating my peanuts, “I ( munch munch) really( more munching) don’t know. See, I am lost myself. Have you seen my wife?”.

The sun was dancing on my eyebrows as I looked to the east, west, north and south for any sign of life. I could feel my sweat pouring from all the wrong places as my brain was steaming deliciously like the soup damplings I had the other day at mr. Wok’s.

The plains were shining gold and yellow with scattered spots of green where acacia trees stood painstakingly in the scotch of the November sun. I am going to dry up here. I heard my brain warning me. I could feel my lips turning into dry scabs and pinching my mouth at the sides. I took out my only bottle of water, fear gripping into my parched throat as I observed what was the last few drops inside of it. Damn!

There goes my last drop of water, I thought to myself as my spongy throat sucked up every last trickle.

It has been two hours since our tour van broke down in the middle of the wild grasslands. I recalled how excited I was to join my friends on the tour of our lives. While everybody else sought the normal way of paying a company to take them to Masai Mara, we thought that was way too boring for us. We needed a different type of adventure, the kind which saw us coming to the wild, with just a van and one of us as the driver. Nobody thought we would only last a few hours before the greatest tragedy of our lives happened. Nobody cared to inspect the van either, we took what we could find under a very short notice and stormed our way into wildlife territory, where only normal human beings, well fed ,watered and sheltered under the cool roof of their van could make it out alive. We didn’t care for the nitty gritties of survival. How could we, when this was going to be the best adventure of our lives?

So we drove through into the wild, with only our thirsts for excitement and hopes to have something extraordinary happen to us, something we would never forget. It wasn’t just the safari experience we were after, for that was too mundane and lame for us. We wanted something more. And the wild grasslands happily obliged. Fast forward three hours later, and everyone is everywhere, all by themselves, trying to find help. I still think splitting up in a place like this was the dumbest idea, even though somehow we convinced ourselves that that was the only way we could find help more quickly, or locate a passing tour van since we had not even seen one for the past several hours when we had started our drive. One of us pointed out also, that certain territorial animals who have a taste for human flesh were more likely to notice us, if we stayed as groups, than if we dispersed.

So here I am now, with no water and missing a bag of peanuts, two hours later, with no idea where I was going to go. Come to think of it, Masai Mara is a popular destination for tourists all over the world. If I read the reviews on Trip Advisor correctly, this place should be swarming with cars going round and round all over these endless plains with excited tourists who would scream and point to every moving thing with their cameras. Why does this place look so deserted today? I followed the beaten path religiously in hopes of meeting a vehicle, but no luck. I tried to retrace my steps hoping to return to our paralyzed van, but I couldn’t remember how to get back there. All I saw were endless hills and a never-ending carpet of grass.

An ostrich running for his life after he realized I was human. I guess we don’t hold the best reputation in this place. Thanks to the poachers.

How do I survive? Will I get help?

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