When You have not healed

In life we get hurt. It hurts the most when it is the closest people who stab us. The wounds take long to heal. Sometimes they don’t. So, how does anyone deal with the trauma of heartbreak?

Revenge

I tried to forget. I even lied to myself and somehow convinced myself that I was mistaken about them. Perhaps, it was all my fault. Maybe, I shouldn’t have had high expectations from them. Maybe, I should not love too much with all my heart. This self-deception did not work. Infact, every time, they would trigger me again and again, and my heart would ache with so much anguish as if I was back in the past, receiving the same painful stabs to my poor heart over and over. Forgiving and forgetting never worked either. All the positive thinking in the world did not help me forget. My body refused to let it go, my heart would pinch into my rib cage and suffocate me every time I forgot the ugly claws of my perpetrators.

So I said, what if revenge is the only way which could relax my aggrieved heart? What if I must settle the score with them so I could feel peaceful again? What if I need to make them feel the same pain if not more? I realized some of these people if not all, never say sorry or feel any remorse for how they treated me. For such people, they must be made to taste the pain they caused. Only then will they learn to respect and treat others with considerat

If the universe won’t help heal me, at least, it should help me revenge against them, right?

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