Hi, this is one of those can’t-sleep-unless-I-write kind of posts. So here goes…
Most people believe that life is a school. I heard this term , “the school of life” many times and I am sure you have heard it too. What if these words are deeper than what the traditional school means to us? What if indeed, life is all about schooling us to become better in areas that we have a weakness in, so we can upgrade to someone who is completely transformed into an authentic and highest form of self?( blah blah blah)
Do we all not believe or at least want to believe we have some say in our lives and we can choose the kind of life we want to live? While that might be so empowering, it also begs the question then who decided things we have no control over, such as who we get to be, male or female? Into which family we get to be born? What race, religion or region of the world? And dozens of other stuff that we cannot claim to have any say in them? Can someone tell me?
There is a belief I heard about, which states that we chose the life we are living right now before we were even born. This belief also attempts to say that all the depression I went through,the anxiety, my proud status of a secret child, and all the times people were assholes in my life, all that hell I struggled to survive through, are not an accident, but rather they are the lessons I chose, or needed to learn in this lifetime to become better and work on my weaknesses so they can become my strengths. (Who put us in this mess? Shouldn’t I get to vote?)
Now imagine if this belief that everything is planned to teach us what we need to learn to become our fullest best selves at the end of the road were true. Would we regret doing anything at all? Would there be vocabulary like “mistakes”, “I wish I could have done this,” “I should not have done that,”? Would there be fear of the future or traumas from the past? Shouldn’t we feel relieved of the burden to choose and plan stuff in our lives?Won’t life be easier if we could just remember all the life details we chose to experience back then when we were noble souls( I so want to punch my soul self right now), who planned all the fantastic lessons our frail bodies and hearts would have to be grilled through in this life? Why make us forget all that we chose for ourselves back then (very malicious fish fishy? Take away our memories so we can be helpless donkeys)I would love to remember right about now,so that if it looks to me like my soul grossly overestimated my ability to cope with those freaking lessons it chose, I can exit this mistake I call life and say , “Hell no! I am outta here!”. I hope to be veeeery careful in my next life when I am picking and choosing my life, can someone remind me to please opt for learning the lesson of “having so much money and enjoying it with gratitude and a long healthy life,” or “being so free to travel the world and do the things I love while money multiplies on autopilot in my bank account and all I need is provided for without having to kiss up to some nasty boss’s ass,” in my mext life.Please universe can you include me in my own life plan next lifetime?Out of basic courtesy,please?
Anyway, long story short, whether I like it or not, this belief that everything is tailored to teach us,( God must really be a teacher, wasn’t there any other way to live?) is proving to be more true by the minute? And if that is the case, universe can I please just sleep and breath from today onwards and do absoultely nothing, living my life like a tomato plant, letting it all pan out for better or for worse?