Today, I want to talk about our “not-so-good” human side of ourselves which has made us become victims of our own self-criticism and that of spiteful people we have come across with in our lives, who call us names, give us labels which describe them more than us, and make us simply feel crappy about our very nature as human beings.
Other humans can be mean. And that is okay.
I have been through it all. I have been called crazy, just because I fell into depression early on in life, I have been called weird, just because I was different from what was considered the norm in my village, I have been judged way more than been loved, by people whose names I did not even know, and rather surprisingly, by people I called family and friends. All this time, I got hurt, heartbroken, disappointed and triggered. All this time, I got bothered, while my attackers simply moved on living their life oblivious to the damage they caused me.To them, perhaps, it was no big deal. I think there are some malicious people in the world who have nothing good to say to me. I also think this world would have been a better place if everyone was mindful of what they say to each other.
Life passed by and I found myself very cautious of others’ opinions about me. I would bend myself over backwards to stay in people’s good side. I would even sacrifice my own happiness so my neighbors are not angry with me, so my boyfriend is not displeased, so the entire world can be my friend. What I did not know was, every time I looked the other way when someone attacked my character, it was as if I was giving them the knife to stab into my self esteem, my identity and my self-worth, if I have not done that to myself already. Therefore, it made sense that every time everyone was happy with me, I suffered immensely. On the other hand every time I decided I was going to demand to be treated right, the whole world seemed angry with me, as if saying, “Just stay the same as you have been. Why change? It worked for us when you are pleasing us at your own peril. Why do you have to be so selfish now?”
I had severe neck pains for several days. I still had to go to work anyway and for this reason my pain only got worse. I finally decided to pop into a chemist and ask for a strong painkiller to help me feel better.
“Hi, can I please get a strong painkiller for my neck. It has been killing me and I cannot take time out to rest right now.”
The pharmacist takes one look at me and asks, “You are Zeinab right? You have anxiety.” He turned to his colleague at the counter and repeated these same words about me.The conviction and credence with which he said these words surprised me as much as pierced into my very core, and here I was, trying to implement my plan of being in high vibration and staying on a high-flying disc despite the pain. I was shook to my core. Instead of smiling like I always do and cry somewhere later, I found myself responding something about does the chemist have a law about not catering to anxiety-stricken people, or something like “Are you saying I am making up my pain because I have anxiety.” I wished someone would punch this man whose name I did not even know who is being so mean right now.
After many many hurtful remarks, unfair judgement and nasty labels and billions of tears and wallowing in self-pity, self-loathing even and low self esteem, I finally realized something that would change my life forever…
It was just an ordinary day, I left work in the evening and stopped by my favorite cafe to read the “Attractor Factor:5 Easy Steps For Creating Wealth (or anything else) from the inside out,” By Joe Vitale, and I came across a statement where he explained that if something someone says triggers you, you need to ask yourself why that is so. It may be a sign you have not yet unconditionally loved yourself. It may be that you have believed those labels and in your belief you have attracted them into your experience. After reading this, I contemplated the reason why anyone in my life experience would be so judgmental and I found myself, on my way back home, so engrossed in thought, that even if a donkey were to come racing at me I would not notice in time to duck and then out of nowhere, as if the universe was listening all along to my inner turmoil, a wave of inspiration started flowing into my mind, truth after truth about the following three things:
- The universe, God, or whoever you believe in, loves you with all your imperfections. Yes, especially if you had all the odds stacked against you, if you had to suffer more than others, or if you were a victim of circumstances you could not control, you will attract the attention of the universe and you will find yourself living an extraordinary life, a life where everything that people used against you, every fight you endured, finally makes sense. Everything you once thought would defeat you, as Joel Osteen says, was meant to raise you to your destiny. The universe adores the underdogs, the black sheep, the overlooked and under appreciated. These people who beat odds gain the support and assistance of the universe. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself because you have been wrongfully judged, or feel less than because you have had to battle with mental illness, or feel like if only you could be perfect, if only you did not have anxiety, or depression, or cancer or whatever it may be, others would have thought highly of you, stop! And start loving your imperfections because the universe chose you because of all that you think may be wrong with you. Do you hear me?
- Other people do not matter. What they think and believe about you does not matter. What matters is your own beliefs about who you are and your own inner voice. Do you love yourself just the way you are? Does the little voice in your head say good things about you? Do you unconditionally love and accept yourself? When you reach a dangerously awesome level of self love and acceptance, nothing others do or say will faze you.
- Train your mind to praise you and as Marisa Peer says, “Think powerful thoughts.” Instead of leaving your mind to stay idle or obsess over this or that, try training it to repeat these words, “I am beautiful. I am abundant. I love myself. I attract good things into my life. Because I am happy about myself, the universe brings to me more reasons to be happy with my life.”