Chimamanda Achidie’s TED talk on “The Danger of A Single Story”, was so inspiring I had to pause the video mid sentence to make sure I put my idea down on paper before I lost it completely.
If you haven’t yet heard or listened to the speech, let me summarise her point. I admit though that I am unlikely to do her incredible speech justice by giving the following explanation.
So basically, Chimamanda pointed at the most basic, but overly-underestimated assumption of ” looking at things from one perspective”. She explains quite beautifully her upbringing and the fact that her brilliant inquisitive mind of a then 4 year old, read books. Lots of children’s books. They were not just any books however, they were based on British and American characters that did not fit her identity as an African. The books told her one story: that literature and beautifully written prose belonged only to the foreign cultures and people in the books. There was no African who comfortably belonged to a book. She further states several examples of how later when she moved to the states to study, she was a victim of the danger of a single story which people around her had of Africans. Her roommate and classmates all interacted with her not based on her individual identity as a brilliant, accomplished young woman, but as an African girl who comes from Africa, “the country” which is poor and has no WiFi.
I was able to use her hypothesis of the danger a misguided perception of something had on the subject being discussed, to arrive at a similar conclusion about marriage.
Let us take a look at how marriage has boosted the economy by creating business in the wedding industry as well as how it has been viewed over the centuries as the holy union binding two human beings together in the guise of commitment when truly, it was the only way men could guarantee their paternity then. Nobody wanted to raise another man’s baby.
My point is, marriage has been used not for the right reasons but for all the wrong reasons such that it was only a matter of time before people realized it’s overrated and downright nonfunctional.
Before you married peeps out there hang me for soiling your otherwise sacred opinions about marriage, I want to employ the realistic and functional schools of thought which both enthusiastically and evidentially provide that for something to be practical it must be implementable and its success lies only in its validity which further lies in its ability to yield the desired results and for it to pass the endurance test of remaining to be practical, it must meet realistic expectations and must do so infinitely , otherwise it is rendered useless.
Marriage does not have the best record. I am a victim of marriage including trillions of innocent people who were just collateral damage to the monster we call marriage.
Marriage is not only responsible for ruining the lives of the married but also innocent children who get caught in the consequence of a failed marriage. People have been in danger of the single story of marriage and have thus suffered a great many centuries because nobody availed a different story, a different ultimate happiness in life that can be found elsewhere and not in the confines of an outdated institution whose purpose expired so long ago.
Marriage is responsible for failures. Marriage is like test driving a car which you won’t necessarily stick with for the rest of your life. Something is grossly wrong with marriage and it is time people realized how much they are threatening the future happiness of the people on Earth by stubbornly holding on to something that no longer serves their best interests.
How can you be happy with permanence when human beings by nature were created to change, transform and evolve? Commitment is just a marketing tool, jewelry and the wedding industry have been using to keep businesses running. You, as a human being who changes and grows everyday cannot foresee that future circumstances will be favourable to your union and commitment is a prison people build for themselves for life without ever realising. You cannot be static. Your feelings about a person cannot remain the same over just some months, let alone years. What guarantee do you have that you will not end up divorced and heart broken? Why invest your entire life in something that you have no control over? Why do you imprison yourself so? I will tell you why! You give yourself a life sentence of an indifferent boring lifestyle because the society told you a fantasy dream about marriage; you received a single story about marriage and nobody was there to show you an alternative way of life that would serve you way better than marriage ever could!
Marriage has evocatively failed over the years and people who know better would never choose marriage. In fact, those who had chosen marriage would most likely choose to go back and unchoose! I bet my blog on that!
My point is, if something does not work anymore, it should not be encouraged. All things come and go. And that has been the nature of life on Earth. We moved from analog to digital, from telephones to WiFi and there is no way marriage should stick any longer.It has stuck too long already and it is about time to consider a different story to ultimate happiness and gestures of commitment other than through marriage.